Comments : Heartbeat

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    This poem made me think wow! I completely loved this poem from start to end. I could find no faults in this piece it was perfect.

    "Oh how I log to trust the thoughts
    expelling from minds unlike my own"

    ^ my favorite stanza :D

    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    Well penned mixture of feelings. Somewhat difficult to interpret in some places. Yes, each stanza is loaded with metaphorical emotions. 5/5

    Just wondering whether you meant Lion or Lioness in this last stanza:

    I fight like a lion in Africa's warmth
    nonetheless I never win

    Lions are inherently lazy, they rarely chase and kill. The lionesses are the ones who have the stealth the agility and the fierceness of the breed. So if you really want to make an impact here, you have to change it to Lioness, your own screen name. :)