Comments : Me, myself and I (Lento)

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Zahra, I apologize, I now am not able to leave a long detailed comment, I'll comment later, why am I here then? because I adored this piece 100%. Mwa.

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    So, now, I'm back.

    Clean floats my abstract existence
    serene, an enveloping canopy of clouds it abides
    unseen my body and I lay, conspiring
    between scenery below my heaviness resides

    ^

    I felt so dreamy, so so dreamy, you cannot be serious, Zahra? I don't know how to pen something about life in this way, teach me. ;P

    Author of life, myself below teaches me
    ardor is where I aspire to be, however
    bitter are both compared to where I stand
    Yonder I shred chocolate fractures of memories forever

    ^
    Wow....I don't know what to comment, like seriously...I promised to leave a longer comment, but wtf...haha I'm not finding words!

    I have oneeee suggestion that is soooooo small....tiny tiny tinyyy...

    make it a free versed...poem..like
    ummmm...
    not two stanzas, it feells a it weird the way it is now, hun

    I don't know maybe it's just me! ;)

    Lovely write nominated the next weeek

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    It's the first time I hear of a Lento.

    I think you really did great in linking your ideas and provoking the reader's mind with beautiful imagery. But honestly, I don't dig forms.. well, except haikus :p haha

    Nevertheless, I think it's perfectly written. ;)