Wow this is amazing my great friend and wow greatly worded I love love love it all :) it's beautiful and wonderful,,I cannot express how much I love it it's greatly written but a fantastic poet
Excellent very well done :) 5-5

A beautifully penned piece. The emotional value is real and the reader is able to feel each one. Good write

For a piece with a pretty straightforward title, i surely didnt expect such complexity underneath. I think this was a special love poem because it's also dark and it's as if you present your lover as some sort god. Id usually tell people to tone down their vocabulary in love poems, but this case is different because precise wording is often a factor of dark poetry. And you managed to keep uo a balance anyway, so well done.

This is a bit dark, I like it.
Your word choice too.

My favorite lines:

Lift me up, take me with you

Leave me here, I will perish

At least show me a glimpse of your paradise

As evryone said wel penned ,
Saying dat how u incomplete widout d one u hv been waiting fr so lng,and nw wen she is here,u dnt want hr to leave u to perish widout even noticing dat u r smwhr thr dying alng wid ur soul to be a part of dat paradise,means her love ,a glimpse of her love,a hrt whr ur shelter is..whr u r safe.
Whr thr is no darknes,delusions,js a magical warm charm of her,enlighting d path ,whr ur soul wil finaly be absolute..

Nominated(:

LIked your choice of words and the images it brought forth to the mind..nicely penned :)

For some reason though, I like part I and II better compared to this one..don't get me wrong this is very very well written yet I like the other two better..take care & keep penning.

I wish to see beyond
the nebulous darkness of my soul

^ 'nebulous' is a really great word.

My eyes are murky, the brain delusional
Give me a light, to walk the path to my absolution

^ 'murky' and 'delusional' .. mm, I think they have the same shades of being not able to see clearly, and both words in the same contrast are very useful to deliver your picture.

And oh, the musicality is heard from the beginning :) I mean the rhyming scheme is great here, and it felt really smooth. Flaws-Free :)

And oh.. haha, that reminds me of the style of my favorite band in lyrics: The Script

Show me how to see beyond the rainbow colors of your eyes

^ I can imagine there is a pot of gold on the extremity of the rainbow. omg, so vivid :)

I once dreamed, of an angel in jubilous tripudiation

^ I'm not sure what ' jubilous tripudiation' means but it sounds and reads flawlessness!!

waltzing away amongst the stars and a startled luna

^ This is a definite celestial enchantment! I think it's a great imagery.

Illusions of Eden, my delusions, still haunt my dreams
I thought they were disbanded in the tempest of a nightmare

^ That is so shivery! The atmosphere got damper. I like.

My nous yearns to find magic in your dreams
Lift me up, take me with you
Leave me here, I will perish
At least show me a glimpse of your paradise

^ Those details give definition of your great thoughts and descriptions. They thicken the volume!

I lost my utopia somewhere, I do not know where

^ That is really expressive.
The comma joining those two sentences feels eerie, but I love it! Two separate sentences when read on the same line just moves you especially if they have tempo, like here.

I yearn for a glimpse of your Shangri La , a path out of my abyss.

^ Can you PM me with what I didn't get?
And of course, Shangri La? what is it?

It really describes the path our of your abyss, or is it really the salvation path in some foreign language? mmm.. I'm interested to know.

Other than that, I think I fell in love with the piece. So much to grasp, but so much to enjoy!!

HIGH FIVE.

Well I really enjoyed reading this poem!

This is what I felt as I was reading the poem...

I felt it was about a potential love

I lost my utopia somewhere, I do not know where

^^^ The words make me feel like you've lost your way and your paradise and you want to be shown the way to hers.

Not only do you love her but you want to be with her in this magical place (her life)

I dream of your Shangri La , a path out of my dismal abyss
^^^^
This secret hideaway place you could share together

A beautiful well writen poem

x

Wow this piece is amazing, i am in awe of your talent. Fabulous job, 5/5

Love the combination of words here. So very pretty and meaningful

A beautiful poem that came from the heart. I can only sing the praises of this poem.

Excellent

5/5