Comments : Homesickness

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    You really got me shivering when I reached the end.
    You have penned it, moving the reader as he gets to feel what loathsomeness in homesickness there is.

    and the way you inserted Argentina felt so musical.I LOVE the way it sounds.. so smooth, yet it makes your eyes tear.

    Amazing job, as always.
    You have became now, officially one of my favorites. :)

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    This poem is really amazing.

    I have to say I liked the first stanza better than the second though. Your descriptions and word choice blew me away.

    He gently desintegrated
    ^
    Looooove. To gently disintegrated paints such an awesome picture in my mind. By the way, d[e]sintegrated should be d[i]sintegrated. :]

    listening to a tango
    at 2:00 a.m.
    ^
    I looooove these lines too. They just stand out, because.. who listens to tango at 2:00 a.m.? It could be many things keeping this guy up at 2:00 a.m. ...and I just realized something. It takes two to tango.. so maybe he's longing for someone? So many possibilities.

    His body is a particle
    of sofness waiting to be
    blown.
    ^
    Love the use of the word particle. Just because not many people would think to use it. So awesome originality. :] "Sofness" <-- I think you meant "Softness." :P

    His heart is behind him.
    ^
    Hmmm.. Maybe it could mean he left his heart behind? Or back to the "longing for someone" thing, maybe he left his special someone behind a.k.a his "heart." Love it.

    to be nobody repeating himself
    to himself when that song
    ^
    "Repeating himself to himself" <-- I don't know why, but I just like the way this rolls off my tongue when I'm reading it. Great rhythm. :]

    pinches him on the inner arm:
    it is the same pain year after year.
    ^
    I'm thinking there's a secret meaning here, not just beautiful words, but I'm not sure what it is exactly. Still beautiful though. :]

    He built an altar for it
    beside his bed just
    to exercise his tears,
    ^
    Did he build the altar for the song? I think that's what you're saying. I love how you said "exercise his tears" as if it's something you need to do, like it's healthy or something. It's really interesting. :]

    don't cry for me Argentina,
    let me cry for you,
    let me cry for us.
    ^
    Ahhhh. I love this ending. It finally reveals what the poem was really talking about [and I was so wrong. Haha.] He's talking about missing Argentina. Duhhh.. that's why it's call Homesickness. Lol. I feel really stupid now, but that's what I love about this poem. Before the very end, there's so many ways you could interpret this poem.

    Amaziiing job!

    Cayce

  • 12 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Very nice. I know all about being homesick, cyring for Germany all the time.