Comments : Our Winter

  • 8 years ago

    by Ms Happiness

    I truely love it, GREAT WORK :) ofc a 5/5 from me

  • 8 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    This poem says a lot about sad feelings and how we cope with negative situations. I think this is mature write and you worded it very well.

    "With tears freezing
    upon your heart
    I ponder, wondering
    whether you and me
    is all we'll ever be
    or if it might turn
    into us.. again."

    ^ my favorite part

    5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by L

    I do not miss you anymore,
    but please tell me

    --this stanza is self explain.
    The author wishes to know what went wrong.

    Is it the bleak December,
    that made your touch wintery,
    that died down our embers

    --- I think this is creative. Was it the cold December that made you touch cold and made our  fire to extinguish. Love died.

    Or was it your choice
    because you still linger
    in Novembers' wounds?

    --Or you took that decision  base on past errors.

    With tears freezing
    upon your heart
    I ponder, wondering
    whether you and me
    is all we'll ever be
    or if it might turn
    into us.. again.

    --- Hmm, this stanza shows that the author stills have some sort of hopes for the relationship to continue. 

    Waiting for these 
    cold months to pass,
    abating my fears
    that our winter might last,

    -- hmm, the author is putting an end to her fears just wishing that the love might have not come to an end.

    but to be honest
    I do not miss you any less. 

    -- I think the author does miss him. 

    Lovely poem. 5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    Jenni I think you've penned my favorite. Each word holds so much emotion and the end line is the circle that brings it all home. Awesome girl just awesome

  • 8 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Very nice

  • 8 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    This is full of powerful emotions ... the wording is strong and the flow is perfect ... i do agree that the speaker does miss him ... very well penned my fav from you x

  • 8 years ago

    by Decayed

    I think I can touch a great taste of doubt and confusion. And the incorporation of the winter aspects (coldness, iciness...) just makes my thoughts freeze. You have really managed to send us shivers. So, it was a great feeling. Very well conveyed :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Liliana

    I do not miss you anymore,
    but please tell me

    Is it the bleak December,
    that made your touch wintery,
    that died down our embers

    I think this a artistic way to referrer to as a love that has vanished.

    Or was it your choice
    because you still linger
    in Novembers' wounds?

    Again this is creative, I like how you say now that it could be both fault but talking about November wounds, the use of months in this poem is really well done.

    With tears freezing
    upon your heart
    I ponder, wondering
    whether you and me
    is all we'll ever be
    or if it might turn
    into us.. again.

    This stanza shows hope, that this relationship might still have a chance.

    Waiting for these
    cold months to pass,
    abating my fears
    that our winter might last,

    but to be honest
    I do not miss you any less.

    She/he says I do not miss you any less but I can see in the previous stanza that she/he does wish that winter might last, that this relationship hasn't come to an end.

    Overall I think this a really well-written poem and really like the way you talk about winter and December, 5/5.

  • 8 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    I'm speechless! Jenni, this poem is stunning! I love how you wrote this, and it's very unique and creative. I love how you compared these emotions to the cold winter months, and how you chose to write this poem. It was strong and wonderful to read! Amazing! I love it!
    I like that you also miss whoever you're addressing, and how you mention it in the first and last line of the poem!

    5/5

  • Wow, Jenni! This is amazing. I'm adding this to my favorite poems. (:

    This has a feel like a poem Emily [can't write last name in here because it says her last name is a bad word] -.-.... would have wrote. I love her poetry and I'm beginning to fall in love with your writing.

    You have a very unique and emotional style that is very written penned in all of your poems.

    5/5

    -Heather

  • Ugh... stupid internet submitted my comment twice! Sorry!

    Still love this poem. :D <3

  • 8 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    This one has another Jenni "touch". It is another poignantly sad love poem which reflects the inner feelings very well. I am truly amazed at how well you can portray depth of a sad emotional loss in so few words. I loved your sentiments here, and hope the spring brings back cherry blossoms again.
    The only place that has me wondering is:

    "With tears freezing
    upon your heart"

    Did you mean to use, "my" instead of "your" heart, as in first person here, instead of second person? I think it would look more effective if stated in the first person.

    A great write, worthy of nomination.

  • 8 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    Another deserving poem, by Jenni, this week, who seems to have mastered the art of sad poetry, in a very short time. The poem's title "Our winter", so aptly describes the wintry emotions between lovers, using "November's wounds" to capture the emotionally "bleak December". The choice of words using wintry feelings to symbolize the frozen relationship is astute, and you as a reader can feel the emotion laden chill deep within. The outcome, "that our winter might last", and poem ending note, "but to be honest I do not miss you any less", is uniquely written, suggesting she is going to truly miss him. It is difficult to select just one stanza that stands out, as each is well thought of and the poem as a whole has a great flow and does so well to capture the gloomy sentiments of a break-up. This stanza particularly stands out to me:

    With tears freezing
    upon your heart
    I ponder, wondering
    whether you and me
    is all we'll ever be
    or if it might turn
    into us.. again.

    The hopes of an "us", is what can bring true lovers together, and rekindle love again. The "you" and "me" is what will snuff out the embers again. A very "affective" write, deserving of a win, in my opinion.

    (Judging comment 12-11-11)