Comments : Caducity

  • 12 years ago

    by Ms Happiness

    The poem reminded me of someone, I'll really never forget that person.
    Great great great poem, 5/5:)

  • 12 years ago

    by Liliana

    Great job Jenn

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow, this poem is really great. First, the title was interesting, I've never seen caducity used in a poem before, and it fit so well here. I love the first stanza, and how you started with the 'rare moments in life' ... there was something deeper meant about this stanza, like when we just think deeply about our lives and future. The beginning of the second stanza made me feel like this poem could be about anyone... some people are making the most of their lives, while others are living unfulfilled. Then the poem gets pretty somber with the graveyard and 'dead strangers' but it was significant because as the reader I was thinking of who those people were, and what they accomplished in their lives... but most importantly, what are they being remembered for?

    I love that you used the word sullen, it's such a great word and fit your poem so well. I must admit I don't vary the vocabulary in my poetry so much, but I love that you do! It makes it so much better. When you mention friday and sunday, it got me thinking about how days go by so quickly, and we may not do anything special, sometimes we don't really 'live' .. but that's what I felt! And it's something I can relate to at the moment.

    Just a few helpful notes: I'm pretty sure you meant to use the word "omnipresent" instead of "omipresent" ? and I think you meant "in front" instead of "infront" .. Just spelling and grammar because other than that this poem is absolutely perfect!

    This poem really got me thinking about my own life, and if I'm really fulfilling it the way I want to, and how there's so much more I can do, and I do think about what footprints I will leave behind...

    I really loved it. It had such deep meaning that really made me think about my life and its worth!

    Great job Jenni! =D

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    There is a lot of sadness in this poem and the words really do make us think about our own lives and where we are heading.

    There have been so many times I have been to see family members in their graves and as I pass by other people's graves the one thing I always notice is their age.

    The worst is when the grave is for someone that has passed away at a young age. It is so heartbreaking to see this. I always wonder how did they die and think of what they could have become had they been able to keep on living.

    The other thing I thought of while I was reading it was when I see people that are in hospital and are all by themselves and are dying in their beds. It makes me think of what kind of life they had etc. It also breaks my heart that no one is with them at the time that they are dying.

    This poem really made me think of things and I felt a connection to it.

    I love poems like these where I can relate to.

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    "Last weekend I went to a graveyard,
    not alone tho at some graves
    our conversatins suddenly died"

    ^
    Great play on words! I loved those lines!

    I loved this poem..intersting word u used for ur title. That drew me in right away. The second to last stanza was a bit choppy, other than that this was very interesting a good write!

  • 12 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    Nice introspective write influenced by a graveyard visit it seems, reflective on the meaning of our life, with a nice matching title:

    Caducity = The state of being perishable; impermanence or transitory.

    Yes, we all feel that way with a loss, but as you state, we stop and ponder, but continue with life again here:

    "Now I sit in front of my computer,
    wondering what to do next
    while life around me continues".

    Yes, I agree with your projection below, despite the impermanence of life:

    "I carry this situation with me,
    that I can't seem to explain,
    but I probably feel too well".

    "In doubt it's that,
    nothing disappoints me as much
    as my own satisfaction".

    An alternate ending to your sombre and humbling thoughts projecting greater optimism in life's purpose are presented here:

    When in doubt, I look inside
    and find satisfaction
    that I am here with a purpose,
    before I lay down
    next to an unmarked grave

    A poem with Jenni style, and much depth, written with humility recognizing our caducity.

  • 12 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    You have out done yourself with this one. The beginning captured my attention, each word kept me locked in till the finish. Excellent my friend