Endless tear drops fall upon frozen soles
of tattered, worn out shoes, scuffed with pain.
*
The very first stanza brings the reader to attention with a feeling of despair.

Alone, am I, within this dark alley nightmare
no one to love me, sounds of dirty streets sing.
*
Desolate surroundings are penned with tears of sadness

I who have nothing, stands in silence
piecing together a cardboard palace.

* I could picture a humble and lost soul cuddled under papers to stay warm.

Remembering what was lost, choking on reality
gripping the edges of a smelly, dingy box...

* Looking back at what was is painful to the point of insanity. You brought this emotion full circle.

Whispering to my stubborn foolish thoughts
"Look at the house that built me"....

* a perfect ending for a sad and realistic poem. Excellent in every way

Oh how sad this poem is...

The first stanza - the teardrops reaching the soles of the shoes - makes me think of someone who has their head bowed and crying. Reaching the shoes also makes me think that there are a lot of tears and it is a heavy crying rather than a soft cry.

Alone, am I, within this dark alley nightmare
no one to love me, sounds of dirty streets sing.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What an image - I think of the streets at night - a busy street in some city (for some reason I imagine NY streets though I've never been)

who have nothing, stands in silence
piecing together a cardboard palace.

Remembering what was lost, choking on reality
gripping the edges of a smelly, dingy box...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
It makes me think of a poor homeless person in the streets trying to take comfort in his home which happens to be made of cardboard box :( such a very very sad stanza. This stanza has touched me the most

Whispering to my stubborn foolish thoughts
"Look at the house that built me"....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This makes me sad too. The idea that the house defines who you are - and such a house made of nothing would make one believe they were nothing.

Heartbreaking!

Well written

x

Awsome poeme, written by an awsome poet:)
5/5

I already said in the club that it's amazing :)

Beautiful piece sista.

Your words are just incredible...You have so much talent to take something so sad and make it into brilliance.

i often find it hard to feel bad for the homeless because it makes me wonder what did they do to get in that mess? I know not all of them screwed up their lives, but most....but when reading this, I couldnt help but feel pity and sadness for someone in a cardboard box or on the street.
This was a very great write!