Comments : Follow the Leader

  • 7 years ago

    by Meme

    You are such a bubbly girl, but damn girl you excel in writting dark poems :O

    This is how I felt after reading each stanza:

    You coerced me to swallow your list of demands
    until I'd collapse, drunk on your restrictions.
    Intoxicated by your manipulative words,
    I keep losing pieces of me as I follow your lead.
    ^^
    Its like being at a complete state of powerlessness; being fed a bunch of fake stories, but then you feel as a captive that must obey and follow, which will eventually lead to losing the essence of who you really are.

    I attempt to stand yet I have no balance.
    Waves of ignominy ripple my entire being.
    Living in fear - living an oppressed life,
    without the strength to persevere.
    ^^
    Even if you pull a bit of strength to stand on your own; inside of you lives a fear that starts lingering under your skin to opprese any chance you have to escape from it.

    My vision is blurred - I can't distinguish between
    the truth and the lies; they appear to be the same.
    I seem to have lost all of my possessions,
    for I myself have become your possession.
    ^^
    This was actually my favorite part in your poem; especially the last two lines, just so deep and powerful in the meaning they hold. Its true that you feel completely owned by someone else once you lose all of that used to define who you are.

    Even when I'm hungover, you feed me your booze,
    reluctant to grant me permission to become sober.
    Longing for my freedom - if such notion exists;
    perhaps I will be free when I vomit the last drop.
    ^^
    Here you just surrender to the fact that he has the power over you; you even doubt that such freedom is ever found.

    A powerful, deep, attracting piece. You just knew what to say and how to say it, kept me interested to know more as I read each next line.

    Great piece Sara :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Rusheena

    You executed each metaphor so perfectly! And your imagery is so tangible, that I felt as if I could be the right there in the poem. Perfect 5/5

  • 7 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Sara,
    I'm speechless at the emotion...
    I loved how you said

    I seem to have lost all of my possessions,
    for I myself have become your possesion.
    ^^^^^^
    Really thought provoking words...
    Good flow, strong metaphors and deep emotions

    A well done piece

    xxxx

  • 7 years ago

    by Decayed

    I think this is a beautiful write, like one of your 'poetic moments' ... I like the consistency in flow and ideas, and the tone,too..

    You coerced me to swallow your list of demands
    until I'd collapse, drunk on your restrictions.

    ^ The tone here is mixed between power , and this shows in the successive letters, D & R. I love that. And somehow, it felt painful..

    Even when I'm hungover, you feed me your booze,
    reluctant to grant me permission to become sober.
    Longing for my freedom - if such notion exists;
    perhaps I will be free when I vomit the last drop.

    ^ Really amazing choice of words. I like how the letters reflect the state of bedlam within you.

    Sarah, way to go:)

  • Wow, hun... That was so dark and compelling... The depth of this poem opens up so much emotion.
    It was such a great poem; the flow and wording was perfect. This was beyond incredible, Sara.

    Nominating it. (:

    5/5

    -Heather

  • 7 years ago

    by Lioness

    Hey hun,

    I well and truly believe that this is one of the best pieces I have read from you.

    So full of emotion and truth in this poem. I really enjoyed reading it. It felt like you opened up to your readers more than ever and really told us how you were feeling. Exposing your emotions. I think it is wonderful.

    I seem to have lost all of my possessions,
    for I myself have become your possession.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Wow, so very powerful. The title really speaks in itself. It makes me think of peer pressure etc.

    Awesome hun!!!

    x

  • 7 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    This was mind blowing and amazing the first stanza my mouth fell open. Your wording was powerful and precise.

    The emotions that ran through this piece was like a tornado, drawing the breath from each reader. Excellent , just excellent

  • 7 years ago

    by Ole Carsten

    Hi
    I like this poem, the richness in it

    My vision is blurred - I can't distinguish between
    the truth and the lies

    these lines are pure and clean thoughs for me

  • 7 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    I dont think, I know and believe that this is one of your finest arts, Sarah, it was interesting to read from the 1st line! Actually from the opening words, very interesting wording.

    I love your pressure on the same tone, loved the conxn of your ideas and definitely loved the mood. Somehow different to see from yyou, like this gloominess, I love your Love poems, but I think now, I love all the genres you write. you have reached this level where you are being able to leave an impact with whatever thought you need to elaborate.

    hats off, this was really very heartfelt, and it left a lump in my throat, honest...

    Keeep this up! I want to see more of it!