Comments : What Was Done Has Been Done (Justus this is for you)

  • 12 years ago

    by James Pike

    Another heartfelt one. I have been there, in a like situation, before. You described exactly what I felt at that time. Awesome! :-)

  • 12 years ago

    by CuteThingsGoneWrong

    I liked this poem, the simplicity was very nice. I am quite a critic though so Dont take any of this badly... I am just quite evil sometimes.

    What the poem was about is very common for our site and for poetry in general, that doesnt make this a bad poem but if you want it to stand out you need to make it Different somehow. Vocab or something extreme, the imagery you use, and pulling readers in are your tools for these kinds of poems. You want it to stick in someones mind and frankly, this poem i probably wouldnt remember tomorrow (Again, im not insulting this was a very good poem, im just a critic). I feel as if you were trying to say as much as you could as quickly as possible when a lot of poetry is more about saying as much as possible with the fewest words... Setting up an image can instil a feeling into the reader. Trust me.

    My heart was racing on the highway and it crashed into yours....

    or i feel in love with you...

    The imagery of the first is just so much stronger that it feels and draws you in more.

    That is the trick you should aim for with this kind of poetry...

    Again, this is a very good poem 5/5; i just feel like there isnt anything special?

  • 12 years ago

    by CarnivorousCoffin

    I Can Relate To This Me And My Bf Broke Up Today,But I'm The One Who Broke His Heart...But I Love This Poem Definatly a 5/5 Loved It.