Unwanted Hope

Every glance of hope,
Comes with a punishment.
A roller coaster, up and down and always screaming...
I feel trapped in an idea
An idea of hope, that finally
One day, HE. WILL. CHANGE.
After a while I try to forget,
That I don't believe.
But every time I'm almost recovered
Hope seeps into my life and trips me up
Leaving me stuck in a cage of distress and depression.
Most of the time I feel numb,
But I still Smile,
I still laugh,
I still hug,
But I'm afraid the passion is gone
The way he used to tell me he loves me is gone.
The way he used to take me seriously is gone.
The way he used to flaunt me to his friends is gone.
Gone.
And I can't do anything about it.