Comments : Hope

  • 12 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    /the distance from
    one monkey bar to the
    other, became shorter
    and shorter, the
    sides of the slides started
    to press on my thighs
    in a way unknown to me.

    // This was brilliant. I loved how you used monkey bars and slides to show you have grown.

    /...and it hurt
    like losing your home
    to a war, you had nothing
    to do with.
    // these lines are so touching. I loved analogy here, of people who are victimized without any fault of their own

    /wondering,
    If I'll ever be small enough
    to enjoy it again.
    // the longing in these lines is heart breaking. You have so beautifully expressed it.

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Yaki, I felt touched in a way unknown to me when reading this, I felt I could see myself in your shoes, I could see myself standing in "memory park", looking back on what was, seeing that I had grown instead of the park outgrowing me...
    how times change and people change in many ways

    You expressed yourself here in a very poetic way, metaphors oozed here and that really brought great imagery forward

    lovely Yaki,
    Sad, but brilliant :)

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    This was amazing. We are growing every day, not necessarily physical but mentally. And sometimes the more we learn the more it hurts to find the truths about this world. And so that can make us want to be kids again because everything is pretty and fun and no worries. I love this piece and the metaphors that you used.

  • 12 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I loved the metaphor of "memory park"- it was so innocent and touching. But we grow as others have said here, and life moves on, even though the truth of things may hurt our heart or leave scars.....emotional and wonderfully expressed as always Yaki!

    Love how you put me right in your shoes, it really makes it more real for me to read!