Jenni, my lovely you are very talented.

I loved reading this poem hun. I read it a couple of times to let everything sink in. I hope I am wrong when I say this but the desert's mistress, I really hope is some kind of metaphor and not a real woman. If so, this is just terrible and completely sad.

The poem had a beautiful flow to it. The first stanza - so poetic and it sounded so peaceful with the word tranquil. I loved the way you opened the poem. The image of an ocean also caught my attention. I loved it.

When you started talking about being found against their will and being abused / raped, this is the part that actually saddened me. See the first stanza made me think that it would not head in a bad direction (and by bad I mean sad / heartbreaking etc). I thought the poem could go either way and it did. I hate the thought of someone being taken advantaged and abused like that. Their freedom being taken away, innocence. I really get furious with that. Your poem is awesome and it really gets my emotions fired up.

The last few stanzas was heartbreaking too. For someone to go through what this person could have gone through and then be classed as undesired and fading away is so terrible. It's like their life meant nothing.

Jenni you are completely talented and I loved this poem to bits!!!

An amazing job

x

This was a very strong and successful attempt; very well done. The flow and structure are completely ideal, and thus helped reinforce the message brought. I really enjoyed this and I'll look forward to more of your writes. Really good stuff.

Desert's mistress caught my attention and the content even more. By the title I could deduce that this was going to be a sad or heartbreaking poem and that's what I found.

Amazing job.

Jenni, this is more than awesome... the best you've ever written, by far!

You rose from the ocean
ancient, but graceful and sublime,

^ I can get the feeling first that it's about a mermaid. So lovely an opening!

and though you used to meander
it was tranquil.

^ The contrast between 'meander' and 'tranquil', I believe sets some shades of hints to what you're going to talk about, in specific.

Loll while you can dark Venus,

^ though I don't know why did you describe her as dark venus.. or maybe venus is her destiny?

nobody knew that your ideal body
wouldn't always glisten black
and golden or rather auspicious,
that you would curl or
even fear life.

^ So, beyond all expectations, the thing you're gonna talk about happened. She used to always glisten, and never fear life... but something caused the opposite. I'm dying to know what it is :)

Found against your will;
the desert is now your deathbed.

^ Shi*! That is super brilliant! I love the description of the desert as a deathbed. Why desert? why deathbed? this is suspenseful!

Raped and abused -
and yet they don't stop.

^ There it is! The whole thing is about raping. If I go back to what you said above, I can say that this woman had a beautiful life.. and she always gleamed. until... this.

You are fragile,
but they keep tearing at
your strawy hair,

^ I love how you approached the topic, Jenni. In a style rather.... beautiful! It's the style I like best, talking about something in 'You did... You said...'. Lovely! I don't think though 'strawy' is a word, but if you meant straw-like then this word is of your own. nice thing!

yes, you are parched.

^ I love this... 'parched' = hot and dry, it means you're relating it to the desert. MAYBE, you don't mean the desert, this arid area, literally.... maybe it's just a figure of the life she will have 'scorching' afterward. And again, love the style, using YES, you are..

I am sorry and don't even
dare saying this, but..
eventually you will fade away.

^ No, this is not a style of sarcasm though it appears to be so. It's a tone of being 'realistic'...

Supposedly undesired
though you and I know
that it is their fault

and all their grief is
deceptive and predictable.

^ Honestly speaking, I was looking forward to an end like a BOMB.. maybe by referring again to the desert thing. But this doesn't mean that this poem is not a thing! It is more than beautiful...!

Alright Jenni.. keep your masterpieces coming!:)

I think Abed said it all. You're magical in your pieces, they are a joy to read and something to be read more than once...I have to nominate this, cause it's a winning masterpiece.

This was very intriguing! The imagery here is just great! I bet you tell great stories. Really a cleverly crafted piece :] Nice read this one was. -Nik

I like this poem it felt different.

This poem is extremely interesting.
I love the way it starts out, describing her beauty. I feel like, yes you are describing the goddess Venus and her ways. That she was born of the sea to lie within the desert and dry out, maybe metaphorically rather than physically, but I can't help but wonder if this is about more than that. If maybe you are speaking about prostitution as a whole. The definition of them fading away within time. I'm pretty confused with the actual meaning of this poem, but it's so beautifully written. The title is what drew me in, then I spent forever trying to figure out what the poem actually meant. I like that, it make me think and really try to understand the meaning and maybe even what was going through your mind while you were writing this. Sorry to ramble on a bit. But this is probably my favorite that I've read from you so far.