Wow, I agree with Hannah-very creepy. It feels like something from out of a horror movie :(
I have to say that the two couplets that hit me the most would be the:
With burnt skin and a twisted smile my reflection gazed up and said,
"There's no more hope for you my boy, the devil lives in your head."
These two lines are very powerful. I have felt this way before, but never to that extent. Your flow was good in this poem-couplets are always hard to play with because if the pairs don't have matching syllables they sound off. You did well
There's definitely a severe creepiness to this, but also a sadness. I see someone pretty much on their death bed. All hope has long since faded, esapecially with their prayers of salvation not being answered. They let darkness completely envelope them. Powerful work.
6 years ago
by Burning Angel
Wow I love this poem. I am usually not a fan of short poems but this is an amazing poem!!
4 years ago
There is definitely an eerie feel to this with a very sad tinge. I can completely relate though like many of us here.
Having a chronic illness is something but to have depression on top of it makes things 1million % worse.