Sometimes we have to lie in order to save
somebody else great despair

There are some lies that we can kind of say that are justify if they are for a good reason.
I found this poem really sad. I liked the words you choose, they sound that they go along with each other and expresses your point really well.

I also like that you wrote about a good topic and that even though is sad, perhaps it can be use as an eye opener ( not literal) but just so people can stop and think about the great problems.

Wow , i really cried while reading this
i know how u feel cause well i am kinda living in same society u know from Africa too but from north Africa
this is really really sad
but you are gifted to be able to put so much in
this simple words

now to poem

"I look at my present condition and
I let out a few tears
The only thing i do have is life"

well this is a gr8 start
it got me right into the point u want to talk about
I love the way u said the only thing u have is life cause sometimes u have life but u dont want it cause its bad and destroyed life

"I was born in a cursed society
who find pleasure in rape and killing
women, calling themselves men

They have forgotten their heritage,
oh, Mother Africa cries as
turmoil and civil wars loam"

These are very good lines
you got it right describing it using word cursed
and i love the way u said Mother Africa cries
gave me the feeling of sadness right away

"When will it end?
My little niece, a victim of war
asks with sadness in her eyes

I hold her close and tell her its soon
while i ask God above to forgive me
for telling this young girl a lie"

it would better if u added quotation marks to the first line, gr8 ending well hopefully it might not be just a lie
these were my fav. lines in the poem
it was so sad,its like u had to hide the truth from her giving her hope in better tomorrow
while u only see darkness a head

gr8 piece overall
really love it
5/5 keep writing =)

This truly is touching and I agree, an eye-opener. This takes the reader to a place they didn't want to go, for it was filled with bitter truths.
"I was born in a cursed society
who find pleasure in rape and killing
women, calling themselves men"
---I really like that you kept the choice of words simple, letting the emotion seep through.
"They have forgotten their heritage,
oh, Mother Africa cries as
turmoil and civil wars loam"
---The cadence of the whole piece made this a delight to read, regardless of the topic.
"I hold her close and tell her its soon"
---it's
"while i ask God above to forgive me
for telling this young girl a lie"
---Some lies are forgiven when they have a good purpose. I really am fond of the ending. It leaves the reader thinking, yet it doesn't leave them confused.
-X

When will it end?
My little niece, a victim of war
asks with sadness in her eyes

I hold her close and tell her its soon
while i ask God above to forgive me
for telling this young girl a lie

wow paul, this poem nearly made me cry, its such a sad poem , and I love the way you ended it too, it's quite sad :( but nonetheless a great poem, I loved it.

I look at my present condition and
I let out a few tears
The only thing i do have is life
^^^^
Sometimes all we can do is cry. Although our heart is beating , we feel dead inside. I liked your opening stanza Paul- it lets us know the direction the poem is heading...

I was born in a cursed society
who find pleasure in rape and killing
women, calling themselves men

^^^^this is terrible! It is never ok to rape or kill and these men find pleasure in it...if this is accepted in your country, it is too sad. They are not men but wild beasts.

They have forgotten their heritage,
oh, Mother Africa cries as
turmoil and civil wars loam
^^^
Mother Africa must be very ashamed of her children, I like how you address her as mother!

Her children cry as darkness fills
her skies, blanketing joy and the
love she so wishes for her children

^^^this is a really deep stanza. I love blanketing joy and love. This tells me that they are covered, unseen, and hidden from view. Awesome way to describe it.

When will it end?
My little niece, a victim of war
asks with sadness in her eyes
^^^
Here things soften, with the image of the small girl asking when will it end? How sad!

I hold her close and tell her its soon
while i ask God above to forgive me
for telling this young girl a lie

^^^^^ Sometimes we have to stretch the truth to protect those we love. Hopefully for this small girl and all the women and people of your country this will stop.

You have a flair for showing us your homeland, not just the awesome and beautiful but the downright and dirty as well and for this I applaud you! God bless your pen Paul continue writing for us. Peace,
Lostlove1~

"I look at my present condition and
I let out a few tears
The only thing i do have is life

I was born in a cursed society
who find pleasure in rape and killing
women, calling themselves men"

These two stanza's really show the emotion and hate that you feel about the subject as people calling themselves men and thinking its cool to rape and kill women.

"They have forgotten their heritage,
oh, Mother Africa cries as
turmoil and civil wars loam

Her children cry as darkness fills
her skies, blanketing joy and the
love she so wishes for her children"

I love how you add personification to the African lands. i also liked the line "Her children cry as darkness fills her skies." it's kind of sad how people are fighting and causing war and destruction.

The ending of this poem is really sad and it was a great ending.

5/5

This was very well written and eye opening from a life in a Australia it's noting compared to other parts of the world.

Very well done my friend 5/5

**I look at my present condition and
I let out a few tears
The only thing i do have is life
**I was born in a cursed society
who find pleasure in rape and killing
women, calling themselves men^^^in these two stanzas you described a strong emotion about the the recent nature, a real condition that picturesque the environment now...
**Her children cry as darkness fills
her skies, blanketing joy and the
love she so wishes for her children^^^very clever imagery.
**When will it end?
My little niece, a victim of war
asks with sadness in her eyes^^^even this single stanza touches the heart of the readers. An imagery of the child asking when the wars will end...very touchy.
**I hold her close and tell her its soon
while i ask God above to forgive me
for telling this young girl a lie^^^Sucked it! Paul, it's really beautiful ending...I am speechless!This is very admirable!5/5
-C

Excellent poem. Loved it !!

Such a beautiful, delicate but so intensely sad poem. :( Sometimes that lie, of everything is going to be okay, is the only comforting blanket one can offer, especially to one so young. Allow her to cling on to her childhood, what amount she has left.
Your words moved me to tears, so beautiful.
5/5

Very sad and emotional piece. i never really came across a poem like this, its originality makes it shine. wonderful write.

I look at my present condition and
I let out a few tears
The only thing i do have is life

^This opening stanza gives a mixed emotion for the reader for it shows the gladness for been alive yet there is a sadness behind this life.

I was born in a cursed society
which finds pleasure in rape and killing
women, calling themselves men

^The crime been committed against women around the world just never seem to stop and people keep justifying for their actions without any punishment.

Her children cry as darkness fills
the skies, blanketing joy and the
love she so wishes for them

^This only draws sadness in the reader's heart for it paints the pain the country is going through day after day.

When will it end?
My little niece, a victim of war
asks with sadness in her eyes

I hold her close and tell her its soon
while i look above, asking God to forgive
me for telling this young girl a lie.

^This is the most saddening and heartbreaking stanzas for we are painting lies in the eyes of little innocence..a touching write Paul..

Wow. this was a powerful piece, I love the ironicality of this admirable lie, and yet even more the humbleness as you still ask for forgiveness.
it is such a tragedy that there are places of such destruction and darkness.