:0

This scared me! I thought it was a horror until the last stanza! Haha but you did a very good Job explaining how a broken heart feels, I have experienced it many times myself. And as the saying goes: "A broken Heart doesn't mend, you just get used to the pain."

Excellent work! Keep it up!

-Cardwell

It have a since of sadness to it:)
And I enjoyed reading it:)

A .broken heart can be restored.
It takes time for wounds to heal and
pain does become manageable
5/5

:0

This scared me! I thought it was a horror until the last stanza! Haha but you did a very good Job explaining how a broken heart feels, I have experienced it many times myself. And as the saying goes: "A broken Heart doesn't mend, you just get used to the pain."

Excellent work! Keep it up!

-Cardwell

This is well-written, Hannah :)

'I'm sinking...
deeper than ever before,
spiraling out of control,
into this black abyss.'

I was quite skeptical when I first saw the use of ellipsis. At first read I thought it ruined the flow, but as it progressed, it worked.

'I'm drowning...
gasping for air,
gargaling salt water,
slowly taking my last breath.'

Typo on gargling.

'I'm lonely...
you tossed me into a dark oblivion,
used and confused,
after all, I still only hunger for you.'

The last stanza stood out for me. I love the internal rhyme with used and confused, it added to the nice flow.
My only other critique is the use of punctuation. Not the ellipsis, but the abundance of commas was a tad disquieting. You can leave the end of a line blank, and it'll flow well because the line breaks would give the pause instead of placing a comma which was distracting. Overall, the consistent sad tone you've used along with the simple but fitting word choice made this a lovely read. Keep writing!
-X

Oh Mercy Hannah.... this piece is a powerful one....!!

Sadness dripping all throughout the piece. Heartbreaking.

Love is one of the most beautiful things, but along with beauty comes imperfections and this poem expresses that,very heart break and sad. Good write

Thank you all so much! :)

Very sad poem :( 5/5

This is a heartbreaking piece. Lost love is always heartbreaking though I suppose and you have expressed this so perfectly. Loved how with each verse you started with the next step of heartbreak... Sinking, drowning, deteriorating... Fantastic!! 5/5

Oh Hannah, I imagine something happened to make you write these poems :( I have been reading your latest and I discovered a drastic transformation. I am sorry if something happened.

This poems expresses intense emotions and none of them are the good kind. I loved the whole poem because you expressed what happens after someone breaks your heart.

If something actually happened, I am sorry. But do not fret because you will find love again. Beautiful, raw poem.

5/5

This is so deep ... somtimes a heart brakes so hard that it feel like its dead and can never be revived i loved the flow and how you showed the loss and pain of the speaker
a very sad piece written with raw talent and emotion

Really good piece

5/5

Gruesome but awesome :) great description

It was sad, but you did a great job :)

Some serious heart ache. i like the way your brought the darkness out on this one. again awesome write!!