:O OMG
That was just...What dark poetry Liz...It almost feels as if it could fit well into a story...the images were deadly amazing, I am just in awe.

I love your poetry...and when it gets me deep like this did, I feel kind of inadequate to you... (That's a good thing) cos you just wow me! and you show me that poetry can really make you someone else, even if just for a minute.

WOW I AM SPEECHLESS...

Oh my this is wonderful!
"Black mascara runs
down my forehead
because my life has
been turned upside
down that the tears
don't fall as they
should."

This is a odd way at looking at it but I really like this it catches the readers attention.

"I begin to wonder
how my blood would
look dripping against
my milky skin and if
the cuts would release
the ache that slowly
seeps from within."

This stanza has great flow and imagery I like it!

"Squeeze me until the
sadness I'm drenched in
trickles down my body
and exposes its poison."

This is again a great way to put it.

"Can you feel the pain I
have been inflicting on
myself? My mind and
body is a marriage made
in hell. "

Great ending wonderful it left me speechless!
-claps hands-

OMG, Liz ... OMG !! Talk about mastering datk pieces :O

Youturned things upside down from the start. When I first read this "Black mascara runs down my forehead" I was like how is that even poaaible .. I litterally stooped reading right there to try and imagine how would that be possible. I realised that I was stupid when I finished that first verse.. What a genius openning hon.

Dripping blood would cause pain, but since things are going the other way around with this piece; blood dripping actually releases aches!! That is one dark contrasting image right there ..

Penetrating scares to the bone? And squeeaing the sadness out of you?? Where sid you get theae from? Ohh dear god, you are now the Queen of dark poetry!

And the way you ended in just blew my mind away. I loved how you said that your mind and your body are a marriage made in hell, thats the perfect picture to draw when your mind has gone so far away but your body is still standing where it was originally .. as if they never caught up with one another.

Epic liz, just EPIC.

xx

Amazing dark horror crazy unreal ... perfect

i bow to you unbelievable

Very dark and very scary vivid images are drawn out by your words.

This is an awesome piece of writing!

"Black mascara runs
down my forehead
because my life
has been turned upside down
that the tears don't fall
as they should."

When I was reading this stanza, I remembered the time when I leaned on my back while I was on my bed with my head towards the floor while hanging on the air, with the tears trickling down my eyelashes and my forehead.
For some reason that stopped me from crying. I don't know this stanza made me remember that time. It's very well written.

I begin to wonder
how my blood would
look dripping against
my milky skin and if
the cuts would release
the ache that slowly
seeps from within.

-- base on the first stanza, I'm guessing that all of the stanzas will be on reverse, the opposite effect. So I'll abstain from describing the picture that I have in my mind. But it's a nice way of explain the pain.

I've been bit by my
own hand and my teeth
have sunken in leaving
it raw until the scars penetrate
through to my bones.

--- I think that to is not needed next to my bones. Through my bones. I think I'm not sure.
I understand a bit what you want to say with this stanza, but it's kind of vague in my mind. It's as if you inflicted your own pain with your actions, but didn't find a way to heal it instead inflicted even more pain until it scars to your bones... Hmm.. I sort of have an idea. Perhaps not that clear in my mind.

EDIT: Nevermind my first thought. Lol.
The third read made me think of when someone is stress out and pinches one's skin to release the stress or anxiety then because they didn't feel anything they bite with their teeth until... Nice imagery.

Can you feel the pain I
have been inflicting on
myself? My mind and
body is a marriage made
in hell.

--- I like the question, and the last part made me wonder if it's you who this poem is about or if it's about a marriage. Both ways it will make sense. But it'll all points that this poem is about one person.

Damnnnn liz you have taken your talent to a whole new level! I know this poem was written for thd contest that never finished, but if it did, you should win for this piece right here...

That first stanza is so brilliant. So amazing. I'm so in love with it...this piece was so captivating. Dark, yet not dark enough to creep me out....loved loved loved...excellent job with the challenge!

Wow really dark, I agree you mastered dark pieces. The title drove my attention, it made me think what's the black blood. And then the opening stanza stood out.
Amazing piece Liz, I love it:)

Strong and powerful!

"Black mascara runs
down my forehead
because my life has
been turned upside
down that the tears
don't fall as they
should."

^An amazing start! I love how instead of putting mascara run down your cheeks, it was on your forehead because life had turned you upside down, absolutely brilliant!

Black mascara runs
down my forehead
because my life has
been turned upside
down that the tears
don't fall as they
should.

^^This is a really great start instantly captivates the reader. I'm sure this has been said before, but I really like how you've written the tears run down your forehead instead of your cheeks - gives it that little bit of originality; as well as flows really well with the next line about your life being turned upside down. I seem to picture you hanging upside down or have your head between your legs that your tears fall opposite their usual direction... Nice imagery there anyway.

I begin to wonder
how my blood would
look dripping against
my milky skin and if
the cuts would release
the ache that slowly
seeps from within.

^^'how my blood would look dripping against my milky skin' - fantastic imagery. Again there's two images I can see; first red blood dripping over flawless skin; the second black blood, as in mascara, dripping over it.
I'm not sure its meant to rhyme though the way you have written it seems as though 'skin' and 'within' rhyme and it definitely helps the flow. From this I feel like you're considering self harm, but are unsure whether it will help release the emotion inside or just be pointless.

I've been bit by my
own hand and my teeth
have sunken in leaving
it raw until the scars penetrate
through to my bones.

^^It sounds as though you have tried self harm, but with out a sharp object you have opted to use your teeth to sustain damage. The question is: did it help to release the pent up emotion deep within or just leave a life-long scar of regret? It sounds as though it has scarred you so deeply. 'through to my bones' seems to give this idea.

Squeeze me until the
sadness I'm drenched in
trickles down my body
and exposes its poison.

^^ This again shows such great imagery. I imagine you hugging yourself, gripping really, so tightly in order to rid yourself of the pain. 'sadness I'm drenched in trickles down my body' - this could easily be a metaphor for the sweat that trickles down your body from exertion or the tears falling. 'exposes its poison' - I think the poison you are talking about is a metaphor for the pain and perhaps memories; for regret also perhaps..?

Can you feel the pain I
have been inflicting on
myself? My mind and
body is a marriage made
in hell.

^^ I get two interpretations of this. Firstly, a marriage union between two people where your other half has betrayed you perhaps and left you with such afore-mentioned emotion/pain. Secondly, the binding of mind and body within the one soul - perhaps leading to the idea that your mind wants one thing whilst your body, perhaps specifically your heart?..., wants another and its causing you such pain to try to choose between them.. This interpretation would also bring up the question whats the right choice: listen to your mind or listen to your heart?

Overall, no qualms with editing.
It is well penned.

5/5

Amazing poem. You really express your self-hatred in the last stanza. I hope this was not auto-biographical cause self-harm is never an option. Writing down what you feel is the only way to getting some perspective cause then your words can rest as well as your mind.

5/5

So very sad :( my heart burned as I read it. I loved your flow and how you were conistant with the keeping of the tone of the poem. This made an excellent read. I love a gritty poem you can feel as you read and this piece did exactly that.

5/5

Wow...not just the title but the beginning too,caught my attention!!
Well done in deed!

An excellent poem Lioness!!True potential!!!

Your writing is amazing! The way you can capture an idea and pen it with so much power amazes me.

For one thing, the title on this holds a lot of power in itself and compliments the power which is in the poem.

Black mascara runs
down my forehead
because my life has
been turned upside
down that the tears
don't fall as they
should.

- This is such a unique start to a poem showing off your creativity and talent. I can clearly picture this and feel the sense of the pain of feeling like your world is upside down. I can also see another picture of a girl lying upside down on her bed, the tears flowing down her forehead like you describe, thinking of her life. Great opening.

I begin to wonder
how my blood would
look dripping against
my milky skin and if
the cuts would release
the ache that slowly
seeps from within.

- This really shows the deep pain that she is feeling and the desperation for it to be gone, by any means. You know she must be in a lot of heart ache to be thinking of harming her self just to ease the pain. I like the use of the world milky, it gives off so much more power and uniqueness than the simple word white.

I've been bit by my
own hand and my teeth
have sunken in leaving
it raw until the scars penetrate
through to my bones.

- again, it is not just your words it is the imagery you are creating so strongly here. It is so vivid that you can actually visualize a hand with a bite mark on it representing the pain and frustration.

Squeeze me until the
sadness I'm drenched in
trickles down my body
and exposes its poison

- What I got from this was the cry of help for anything to take away the pain. to be squeezed so tight that in a way the pain from that would over take the pain inside.

Can you feel the pain I
have been inflicting on
myself? My mind and
body is a marriage made
in hell.

- Excellent way to end your poem, starting witht he question which I can immediatly answer yes to. You can feel the pain through out the whole poem. As for comparing your body and mind to a marriage, that is a very powerful ending. You can instantly hear the arguing and see the fighting and the disagreements.

I loved it and thought you done an amazing job. 5/5