As They Walk

by LadyKnightingham   Jun 26, 2012


As they walk along the shore
He said to her "I love you more"
As they walk in to each others arms
She kisses him in the barn
As they walk into the sea
He asks her,"Will you marry me?"
Yes!
This is for my friend Bert I am so happy for you
Both Laura deserves you.

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  • 11 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    This is a very beautiful poem, Michaela. I like how you dedicated this to your friends :) It makes it all the more sweeter...

    However, there is one thing that I would do with this poem. I wouldn't have the dedication as part of the actual poem. I would simply have it at the bottom, where it is separated. I'm not trying to be mean or rude, or anything like that. I just thought that it would be better if it wasn't part of the actual poem - it kind of killed the flow for me. However, that is just my suggestion.

    Anyway, I thought it was an excellent, short poem. Keep on writing :)
    5/5