Why do you want to hurt me?

I cant bear to see you like this I know that you love me but you
seem distant you dont seem to be the same guy that I fell in love
with. But I love you anyways I'm just worried about the next time I
see you I don't know if your going to reject me but that's just my
insecurity's that I can't help I'm afraid of rejection sometimes I'm
afraid of you but It don't help me to be afraid. I'm trying I promise I'm
trying to get better get more confidence and be happy with myself
and my body with you it's just natural like second nature to be
myself and I don't want you to go away, but sometimes you can
judge me and it scares me, it scares me to think that my own
boyfriend would do something like that to me, but then we keep
talking and it makes me feel like I'm on top of the world and I love it
 I miss you like crazy I wish that you could be here with me but you
live there and I live here so it sucks I hope that you know that I
would never hurt you and I hope that you will do the same please
don't hurt me again......I wrote this when we were dating and you
did it to me again you told me that you weren't going to hurt me
again and you did I don't trust you anymore not at all anything you
say it's just lies and It really hurts me to see you with someone else
probably saying the same things you said to me and shes probably
saying the same things that I was saying to you "its hard to see the
person you love love someone else".........why would you want to
hurt me why?
~me