Comments : Faded love

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    "winter raindrops" -- i like that.

    Great poem, Shanix.

  • 11 years ago

    by Khalid M Darwish

    Great piece! But I see it still need some improvement starting from the fourth line.
    The fourth line 'now it is a forgotten map.' should be 'now it became a forgotten map, like the winter raindrops'
    What I mean a comma after 'map' and 'the number of' should be removed.
    So the final shape of the poem should be as follows:

    As I stood there,
    stood to watch the clouds fading,
    fading away like the love I once held dearly,
    now it became a forgotten map, like the winter raindrops.

  • 11 years ago

    by Thomas

    Good poem with nice metaphors.

    But like the clouds your love will form again and will unleash nurturing rain on your field of hope.

  • 11 years ago

    by DarkLight

    Thanx all fr bein nyc to me.

  • 8 years ago

    by anand singh

    Another beautiful piece, another enjoyable read.