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by Xanthe
I like it. Just: "parchment dry mouth of mine" ^ I think you need a hyphen between parchment and dry since you're using it as an adjective for mouth. Keep writing.
by Dawn
Thank you.
by Wild flower
There's some sadness in this poem, but I love it. Well done:)
by nouriguess
Without those unnecessary adjectives, this write might be creativity at its best. Well-done. A favourite.