This is absolutely gorgeous poetry. I have been sitting here trying to think of a proper comment and really I just can't.

That ending, the lyrics screaming. It reminded me of the writing love on her arms thing that is/was so popular. Love the wedding pledge, too. AHH so much love.

Hi, great poem
Since in the note it says that you focused on syllables, I just wanted to say that I checked the syllables and in the following lines, I counted not 10. Just in two lines.

" It's your anthem; however cliche it seems."

I counted 11

"spin like golden thread from supposed loose"

and on this one I counted 9.

Other than that, you did wonderful. 5/5

"Spaz with a pen" a reference to Eminem?

Once I read this line I started to feel like this poem was a dedication to the rapper and when I began this poem from from the start I was 100 percent sure. You speak of harsh curses, heavy rhymes and the running of the mouth which of course to someone like me who listens to Eminem on a daily basis, it's all quite clear.

I am fond of this piece because of the connections you made between yourself and the musician. I get lost within his words and a lot of people don't see how amazing he is at writing poetry, after all that is what his raps are. Poetry. I guess he's just a harder style of poet with the quick paced flows and harsh language but he still deserves that title.

"How can these heavy hearted rhymes
spin like golden thread from supposed loose
copper? "

I really love this. This was all you and all your own style. Wonderful poem.

Mel

Hi

I lark your Poem