Comments : Chaos Kids

  • 8 years ago

    by Amreen

    Ohhh... Such a task... I can understand alisha... how it feels to be with infants...they are cute, sweet but irritate the hell out of you... I liked the whole picture out here... keeps me engaged and brings a smile on my face... :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Mohan

    I agree with amreen nive work

  • 8 years ago

    by Hellon

    I found this one hilarious and very true to life...they run here and there...very hard to track them down...someone want's the toilet while someone is screaming out for a banana that they just have to have RIGHT were babysitting eight of them? deserve some sort of award....I'm nominating this...pretty sure you'd rather have a bath with a nice glass of wine but...hey...will my nomination do??? Loved Loved Loved it!!!

  • Aww, thanks Hellon.
    Glad you liked it.
    And yes, I was babysitting 8 kids. Sent me a little looney for a while.

  • 8 years ago

    by Amy

    Eight kids. Sometimes I babysit three of my cousin's and it's a lot of trouble already. You're awesome, haha. I think the rhymes worked flawlessly here. And it doesn't need a lot more work, maybe a little polishing but, really well done!

  • 8 years ago

    by Misshapenheart21

    This is a great poem. I love the beginning! Actually I love all of it! I like how you put real life into humor. It's awesome. Keep writing :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Khalid

    What a real fantastic story! I do have relations to it. Life equals nothing without kids. I have the same situation of yours and in addition I daily have to teach and revise his/her homework. There's an old saying that "Son's kids are more expensive than son". I loved your poem. The most attractive and "funny" stanza is:
    "Talcum powder, nappy and wipes,
    armed for any such disaster.
    Cover the nose and away we go;
    Oh, if only it could be done faster!"

    hahaha I really loved it and could realize the mom's feelings.
    Your's brilliant as always 5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    I really liked this which I found odd because I do not normally read poems in this section of the site. But I think that you did really well. The poem flowed well and you made me smile with the truth of the poem.


  • 8 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I am cracking up! I couldn't even imagine having to babysit that many kids! Truly chaotic.

    I work with a woman that has 10 kids! I about died when she told me, I have huge respect for her.

    I don't have much time to go into detail like I'd like, but I would say that this poem is very well written and it definitely has great humor in it. It rhymes fantastic and just overall gave me a wonderful laugh that I needed and a huge smile plastered on my face!

    Great job, Alisha!

  • 8 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Kids running amok, amok:
    screaming, yelling, calling my name,
    she done this and he done that,
    there's always someone to blame.

    - love the opening, it sets the flow and the rhyme to the poem and starts of a bit chaos which we find out the whole poem is about.

    One wants some food and water,
    another wants you to play,
    those two are having a fight;
    Oh gosh, what a day!

    - this gives us the idea of the amount of children there are and how they seem to be coming from all directions and all needing different things from you!

    One follows you around nonstop,
    that one needs to go to bed,
    and that baby sure has some lungs!
    The noise fills you with dread.

    - again we can see all these kids running around and then you add in a baby to the mix lol. It screams chaos and I can imagine the high pitch screams of a young baby.

    Talcum powder, nappy and wipes,
    armed for any such disaster.
    Cover the nose and away we go;
    Oh, if only it could be done faster!

    - you described this so well, the task that needs done but the task we wish never has to done or that someone else does it before us!

    Quiet! Quiet! The baby needs rest.
    Outside, outside those rascals run
    for more mischief is a-calling,
    and what's a day without such fun?

    - you have continued the chaos by calming one of them but then having to deal with another of them. It seems ongoing all the time for you.

    Now there's food on the roof
    and something spilt on the floor,
    The wet dogs get inside,
    and someone's at the door!

    - I like this little verse... because all the children are runnign around so far int he poem but now you add in other things such as the door going and the dogs, making it that much more chaotic and stressful for you.

    Visitors, visitors, but they leave pretty fast;
    realised the chaos and didn't stick around.
    Fine by me, as my cleaning is now done,
    and the kids are making little sound...

    - here it seems that everything is calming down and coming to an end, maybe then you wont be so stressed and they will be calm for a while.

    Just a few moments rest is all I need,
    but alas, now the baby needs a feed.

    - I loved the ending because just when we thought all was calm the baby wakes up and it will start all over again lol.

    Brillant poem, was fun to read and nice to have something uplifting and funny to read.