The opening really captures the readers attention: "Your words spread like ashes, over the hill top of my tear soaked eye lashes."
I really like the flow of it and the words you used, the tear soaked eye lashes is so vivid and really easy to imagine the sadness and tears flowing.

The flow is really solid and very strong in the way it is constructed. I love the choice of words you have used and the way you start the poem in a sadder tone but turn the tables on us, the reader with the third stanza.

"Your memories war on the battlefield of madness,
sanity escaping the walls of pure sadness. Honestly inscribed in the tunnels of an enchanted fortress, igniting an eternal flame to a pathway out of darkness."

^I love the way you described the way of getting out of the darkness, how this person is an eternal flame always burning and leads you out of the darkness and into the light, it sets the tone for the rest of the poem and shifts it into a lighter side, more calm and happy then sad it's really beautiful how you were able to add each element of emotion in a single poem.

The very end is truly amazing it leaves the reader with a warm feeling in their heart.

"I love you and believe you remain forever near,
death cannot tear apart what love strongly holds dear."

Death is a part of life and it is very sad but as you state loved ones will forever remain near, and I strongly believe that also. I think this is a great poem with a strong flow and a elegant and graceful message, that no matter what happens in life and even death if the love is there it will continue to guide you. <3

5/5

This is a perfect poem i like the overall poem keep writting my frnd

I love this, you feel like you're with that person in the end and in the beginning ur hoping ur with that person. Perfection at its finest

Now this is amazing... you write so well... so mature and this just draws such a sad imagery and lovely moments as well... Keep writing... :)

This was such a beautiful poem filled with sadness but sweetness, it made my heart ache. What a wonderful person to write about, to dedicate to, and to know that this love will always be remembered and continued on. I thought the flow was great, I haven't read a rhyming poem in a long time and I don't read them often but this just was pure beauty.

I have to say I enjoyed the second and third stanza so much.

"Thundering pain withers within,
holding on to a purpose that fails to begin."

These two lines I just had to read again...so much sorrow here. I just read them aloud and it strikes me, like this pain is creating such a storm inside you and you're trying to hold on, trying to realize a purpose.

"Your memories war on the battlefield of madness,"

This was so neat how you used war as a verb. I just am amazed by the imagery that grabs me here---you make this person's memories come alive here.

I also like how you used the word "immaculate" here, such meaning of love. And the reassurance that death cannot take apart any memories, any moments, or your love at all. Written with emotion I could feel

Keep writing :)

OMG! This is utterrly breathtaking. It got me dazed, drooled and captivated. The painting it created in me was so vividly emphasised and I loved it. It has sound elements incorporated which added a beauty to it. Its just an awesome piece. Superb metaphors and descriptions.

Love can always stand the test of time no matter how much hurdles that may cloud it. Assuring that no trial will put your feelings apart is an assurance to wax the bond staunchly. Emotions can at times get to us, getting us susceptible to any slightest sceptic thoughts which can outrightly cause a leak. One can never guarantee doubts and uncertains to be a problem solver in such cases. Apart from true affections battling to win the race over irrelevant discrepancies.

No matter what true and real love always wins, come rain or sunshine. If it doesn't it was never meant to be then, even initially in the beginning. Love doesn't fail nor dissapoint. Its like a plant, when nurtured with sunlight and water it blossoms ripe fruits and exotic flowers. It gives birth to various parts of a plants species. Thus, proposing its suppose functions to all in the long run. So that is how love survives, just like 'plant' analogy. Never should one underestimate the powers of love, love is unfailingly a topic of intriguing ponder, and beautiful with the fated person.

Beautiful and an awesome composition.
Bon Travail!

Perfect matched words with an amazing deep meanings ... i luved it great job :)

That was so very beautiful! Made my eyes water!!! Great job!

It's my friend was some deep writing.
Keep writing ...
Bin

This my friend was some deep writing.
Keep writing ...
Bin