Comments : Barren (Haiku)

  • 11 years ago

    by Lostlove1

    A wonderfully written Haiku Ingrid!

  • 11 years ago

    by mandy

    I love haiku's. I like the idea that you only have so many words and syllables to work with so you really have to use the right words and write what you mean. It's a great reflection of life in the fact that we can say as much as we want, but when it comes down to it, sometimes simply saying it how it is, is the best we can do for ourselves.

    Great choice of words, and thank you for picking my title!

    mandy :)

  • 11 years ago

    by LostWords

    I have always favored Haikus because of how much a poet can show in so few words. You did this incredibly.

    Well done!

  • 11 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    This is such a beautiful haiku. The title gets one spawned into vast realms thinking on what will be the content of the poem. Thus, living me random without any possible guess. Very flawless and it flowed smoothly without any hinges. I don't know how to pen haiku. I feel they're harder than tankas, which I find easier and enjoy penning. However, with this its obvious you made it look very simple and one can get it done within a moment of having any muse. I'll try and see for myself.

    'Streets swept clean from leaves';
    This makes me envisage a street in the night with dim lights, bereft of blaring horns or the swiftness of cars. Only mother natures wind blowing through the magnificent dark. I can see the rustled leaves crept away on the roads by the breeze. Very beautiful imagery.
    'Ominous cloud heralding
    winter's arrival';
    This speaks about winter breezing in after fall. It makes one think of the freezing cold that engulfs one. Gets activities static and people clad in pile of winter apparels. A season of cold when warmth is all that matters. Lovely!

    A very vivid image it paints, very strong and beautiful. As a nature lover am inlove with this piece, no doubt about that. An excellent end product! :-)..

  • 11 years ago

    by Amreen

    Perfect imagery created with the haiku...
    I love it hun:)

  • 11 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Superlative Ingrid, A Lovely Haiku!!!

  • 10 years ago

    by LJ Roodt

    Haiku so well written Ingrid and yet you still used words to make it visual. Amazing how few words can portray winter's arrival, well done

  • 8 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Loved it, absolutely!5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Ingrid,

    Haiku - this format is difficult and though many, myself included have often thought we had this form nailed, we did not.

    I am of the opinion that this short form allows a 'snap shot' of a moment and allows the depth of thought to concentrate into an intense bright light with which to write up to 17 syllables.

    The title is so symbolic of many things and because of this it is intriguing. It makes this reader think of emptiness, a void, a place, a thing robbed of meaning, fabric, emotions, I could go on. A great title.

    Five words and syllables. The word 'streets' to me I am now seeing a town and all its streets, perhaps larger still, a country and all its streets. One word and a whole big meaning. I know its not a simile as this form is about nature. Next word, 'Swept'. this conjures a gigantic broom going to work on the town. In a few magical strokes the next three words, 'clean, from leaves' are executed. I like this too. I imagine the Autumn wind blowing through and taking away the rot. Making way for the cold.

    Next line - here you compress the seven syllables into three words, 'ominous, clouds, heralding' Ominous - a word, that can be dark and fill a person with dread. Clouds - these too can be dark, so the two words together compound the meaning. more dark and more fear perhaps. But, this last word dismisses this totally. Heralding, suggest that these dark clouds and something to celebrate and to rejoice. No need to fear the weather, the season.
    Third line - ' Winter's arrival' The last line is where the first two make sense - the form rings true. It also allows this reader to appreciate the fear some have of this season, but actually it is indeed something to rejoice. Without it, the world would be full of rot and spring would not be as rejuvenating if it did not come from a barren land.

    Well done Ingrid.

    Take care

    Michael (((hugs)))

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    A very dark and powerful piece, Ingrid, created in such a small space. A great achievement.
    All the very best,