Comments : Potential

  • 11 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    I have said it before and i will say it again you are a powerhouse of a writer...seriously, how the hell putting schrodingers cat into a piece comes to you is beyond my comprehension but i love love love it!!!

    This should be in inspiring writes because it is freakin awesome....ugh....your writing amazes me . Period. Xxx

  • 11 years ago

    by MyHalozChokinMe

    :P

    Noted. I re-categorized it. <3

  • 11 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Wxcellent Write!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Definatly one of my favourites from you!! I love it <3

    Schrodinger's Cat is all about potential,
    but true potential is the dark behind the
    blindfold, as I stand on the edge of the
    bluff with the cold shock of wind blowing
    my hair, the sound of the indrawn breath
    just before the whisper in my ear tells me
    what I long to hear-

    I felt this scene clearly in my mind with your description and I could view you on the edge and secretly praying for something to save you but then having so much fear and pent up emotion inside. So much adrenaline running through your viens. It makes the reader aware of how much pain you have suffered to get to this point in your mind.

    The rustle of sound that tells me someone is
    there just before the hand pushes from behind
    in perfect sync with my jump.

    - adore your wording here of the voice speaking just in perfect timing to when you are about to jump. This is very spine tingling and I breath a sigh of relief.

    That perfect moment when everything
    can still be a storybook ending.

    - This line is so powerful and really captures that moment when we believe it will all be ok and we can see all of our hopes and dreams flash before our eyes with no flaws or obstacles getting in the way.

    Ignoring every past reality experienced,
    every crash to the ground with skinned
    knees and bleeding hands.

    - this image again is so vivid for me, I can imagine you on the ground thinking that things can never get any worse than this, and now for that moment you can ignore everything that has hurt you in the past in order to accept and let in the future which promises you hope.

    The long climb back up the
    hill, hand over painful hand,
    knowing who will be standing
    there and wondering if this
    time the hand will draw me
    back or push harder...

    - ok 2 things about the ending, I like the way you begin with the long climb, implying that although you know this is not going to be plain sailing and and easy as we would like it to be, you know you can have the strength inside to carry on climbing because something will be there at the end and they will catch you when you are ready. Secondly, I like the ending thought, because as much as you want to reply on this person to save you, and to never hurt you or let you down or take you back to this awful place, you cannot help yourself but worry slightly that you will b elet down again because it is what you have been used to in the past. It is like you are 99% there with your trust, but too scared to trust not them but yourself also for giving it your all.

    Adored this <3

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    I had to google 'schrodingers cat' glad I did because I now know all about quantum mecahnics.

    This works very well with stanza 1, it makes you wonder what would you do if you werent standing here about to jump. The imagery is amazing you feel the wind and the nervousness.

    I love how it leads onto, trying again.

    It is almost like you are saying you keep making the same mistakes over and over, but one day with the law of averages on your side, you will get it right. That person will pull you, rather than push you harder.

  • 11 years ago

    by Exostosis

    Hmm....I thought Schrodinger's Cat was about probability and superposition of states, leading to Reductio ad absurdum. But alright.

    Although I see a scenario, where the author is pushing herself from the hill at the same time as she jumps, surviving and then waiting in line to undergo the same. It is like knowing that a mistake is being committed and doing it anyways. But every decision we make cannot be transposed until me act on them. And unless we act on them, we will not reach to a conclusion whether or not the decision was a mistake or was it productive. Thus, a decision is a potential mistake and a success at the same time, creating a paradox of superposition of two outcomes of a decision.

    So, the author is said to be jumping by herself and also pushing herself from the hill. A paradox if you will. She cannot calculate the odds of being right. But, she know that she has to act on it anyways, not knowing if the execution will backfire or result in a catastrophe, or conclude in her favor. She wants to be pushed, but saved at the same time. Its a state of agony.

    I am not sure if I get the poem. But the theme is clear to me. Do correct me if I am wrong.

    And I love your use of Schrodinger's Cat, impressive.

    Very well written.