This is so good....I lloved your comparison...: ) great poem:) lol now I see your meaning of a twist:)

Incredibly dark, very meaningful I like it .

There is something about this write that I can't link to the title... and that's the use of the simile.. Like a bad check.

I have a bad habit of thinking of extended metaphors, so when I read this poem, I thought it might just be one. Towards, the end I realize it wasn't. The part that goes with the title is the middle one and a few others. But I thought this person didn't need a light to read you? yet, it's using the light to flash the weaknesses in the author's face.. That's how I link the title.

I also found this dark, because the overall tone sounds angrishly... but it's good.

Thanks for your comment Luce, honestly I don't know what I was thinking I just wrote what I was feeling at that moment. I also edit this poem and genre it under dark and unexplained.

This is great stuff. I honestly think this piece has a profound meaning behind this piece and the poem came out fantastic.
Keep writing:)

I like your use of light and darkness and the comparisons you make. I enjoyed this very much; I almost feel it could be longer, that the poem comes to an end quiet abruptly.

You are able to read me without the
use of light. You look inside of me without
giving me a drug to lessen the pain.

^^Interesting stanza. I feel like this person is looking beyond walls that they shouldn't be.

You have examined me and found
every defect, you have kept accurate
record to remind me that I could be voided
like a bad check.

^^ Being seen through/read like an open book by someone can be a hard and painful thing sometimes especially if it's someone that is looking to hurt you by focusing on your past mistakes and painful habits.

Why do you persist on flashing your
lights upon my weaknesses? Yes your piercing
eyes have awaken my broken conscience.

^^I feel bitterness radiate from this. People like to pick out your weakness because it makes them feel superior, especially if it's something they can use against you. I like how you worded this stanza.

At your reproof tears fills the lids of
my brown eyes and I start to crumble.

^^ I didn't quite understand the wording of this the first few times I read it but then I realized I was meshing it together and reading it wrong. From a readers perspective a comma would be good right after "At your reproof,". And maybe instead of "Fills" just fill. Just a thought.

You make me see my failures and you
keep account of my many mistakes.
Yes your eyes have condemned and
because of my sins your self-righteousness
has allow you to throw me away.

^^I feel this stanza. It's deep and hurt and full of emotion. I had someone in my life that made me feel this exact same way, he was to self-righteous to see his own flaws and felt superior over everyone else because of it. It's hard having someone like that in your life, they constantly tear you down and expose parts of you that you didn't need exposed. I'm sorry if you are going through that.

At first I didn't understand why it was under Dark and Fantasy, but it makes sense now. Forgive any babbling or repeating use of words, it's quite late here. This poem is extremely deep and very well written.

"Why do you persist on flashing your
lights upon my weakness? Yes your piercing
eyes have awaken my broken conscience."

^^^
I think these are one of your most powerful lines because there is a source of hurt here. And no ones like to have our weaknesses revealed or poked at.

"You have examined me and found
every defect, you have kept accurate
record to remind me that I could be voided
like a bad check."

^^^
This started off strong but the use of "like a bad check" made the stanza sound less serious. It made the meaning less deep if I may say.

"Yes your eyes have condemned and
because of my sins your self-righteousness
has allow you to throw me away."

^^^
Another strong line. People always trying to find a reason to do something horrible but still feel okay about it because they live by certain rules.

:] Thanks for sharing xxx

Nice metaphor and similes you gave over here. The use of light and darkness is appropriate in my opinion. Some tenses have to be rechecked like "have awaken" and "has allow" which I think should be "have awakened" and "has allowed". I loved your in writing your thoughts in a nice simple flow, it's attractive.
Great piece.

Thank you:)

I love this poem. It's incredibly relatable for many people. It could be about a lover, parent, friend, outsider of any kind. Either way, we feel at some point, there is always that person who never fails to make you feel like total crap about yourself.

"You make me see my failures and you
keep account of my many mistakes. "

^ This makes me want to swoop in and save the speaker. It elicits a sympathetic feeling, and it's such a hurtful two lines.

Gorgeous write!

Ah! Double posts. I'm so sorry!