Comments : A crushed flower...

  • 11 years ago

    by Danielle

    One of the best poems I've read in a really long time. Way to go.

  • 11 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Amreen- Congratulations on your well deserved win here... when I read this, I nominated right away, and I apologize for not leaving a comment... but this piece hit me straight away.. and Im tickled it won!! Truly a well deserved piece to be highlighted!

    • 11 years ago

      by Amreen

      Thanks you Maple Tree. I am grateful for your support.
      Thanks all:)

  • 11 years ago

    by Suyechha

    I just loved it very much..you hav a great way to present....the feelings and the truth...

  • 11 years ago

    by angel

    Grate

  • 11 years ago

    by Dixie Sinoro Ebanit

    This poem made me a cry bucket

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Not a huge fan of the title, but this is a lovely tribute.
    The constant repetition of "Ma" and other slight repetitions ("I fear" etc.) easily forms the image of the innocent girl. I definitely enjoyed the symbolism of the gardener, it was smoothly introduced in the fifth line, so I didn't find it in any way forced. The whole piece actually is soft, it has this 'quiet' tone to it, and there is also fear but hope in the end.

    "And I know,
    I lose my charm and pride
    but Ma, deep inside, I am still the same
    and I still love you."

    Thought "I lose" should be changed to: I've lost

    "And if Ma, I perish
    don't make me another example
    of a crushed flower
    which got forgotten with the death of its scent."

    Last line: that has been forgotten...
    Just a suggestion.

    And the final stanza, I loved the first three lines, they were brilliant. The last line for me was not as impacting as I'd have expected. Though the incorporation of the two elements - wind and gardener - was fitting, I thought it could have been worded much better.
    Sort of wished you didn't add the note; making the reader think would've been nicer.

    Loved the read, overall. Keep it up.

  • 11 years ago

    by kavitha jesson

    Wow....

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "This is a very raw and personal subject to me, probably for obvious reasons. Upon first reading, I had an idea what the author was talking about. Upon reaching the final note/message, I broke down in tears.
    What I will say is that while the author manages to create a beautifully and dedicated and amazing piece of art of something so incredibly tragic...I truly was not sure if I would be able to comment without becoming emotionally involved for the above reasons.
    That being said, I read countless times, and every time I did this piece became more stronger to me (And I am sure it would have done, even if it was not (The subject, anyway) so personal to me.
    I managed to ignore/forget the personal reasons of why this poem moved me so deeply and focused instead of the content of it. The author (I will admit I am not a fan of the constant use of 'I') and forgetting the content but focusing solely on the poem it almost ruined it for me. BUT going back to the actual content and meaning of the poem, it seemed to work, and the author truly stuck a chord deep in my heart.
    What I will say, is that rape victim or not, to anyone that still has a shred of decency within them and to anyone that can emphasise with others, this is truly a heartbreaking and moving piece and something I only hope will move others at it moved me.
    The whole content and flow and meaning and the true heartbreak behind the written words really speaks volumes to anyone who still cares for others and the author did an incredible job of highlighting something so common yet rarely spoken about. "

    :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Wow, Extraordinarily Powerful Write, Great Scribe Amreen!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Texas Battle

    Marvellous,it reminded me of my teenage days when i always cried to her when i was afraid of sleeping alone in the dark.

  • 11 years ago

    by DeviousCharmer

    This is extremely sad. I like how you made it about a crushed flower. rapists are losers. you showed the pain you (that student) felt. R.I.P to the student who died.

  • 10 years ago

    by Darren

    I congratulate the bravery to write such a piece. It is easy to look at this as jumping on the bandwagon of relevancy, take a topic that has touched many and write a poem about it, (guarantees comments and a nomination). However what Amreen has done is different, it is a political statement. It is written from a unique point of view. I don't sense a sympathy vote, just a clever piece of writing.
    Stanza 3 is so powerful, the innocence of the past is shot down in an instance. It is like you question the whole point of being brought up as innocent. This is further questioned in 4 with ' a life?'
    You are asking a serious of clever questions, With those last two stanzas we see the real power of this poem. You are asking for real change, not to be just another statistic.

  • 10 years ago

    by Angie

    (Weekly Contest Comment - 1/7/13)

    Amreen, I had just read this in the news when I came across your poem, this is just so so sad, it truly disgusts me to see what this world is coming to. I have never had a poem touch me as much as this one has, it has brought out so many different feelings. I don't understand how people can do these things to others and how a government can say it was her fate. This write is heartwrenching, as a mom, I would do everything in my power to see that these people are punished. I love how you have chosen to use a flower as this beautiful young lady for a flower is fragile and precious yet strong and rooted, I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. And the reference of the gardener and the wind, as the government and rapists, excellent. And although this write is based on the evils of this world and tears at my heart, it is beautifully written and filled with amazing metaphoric details, and I hope with all my heart that justice is done... may she RIP. (7)

  • 10 years ago

    by Lemon

    Very powerful, I think you covey the feelings perfectly. The connection between the girl and her mother makes it all seem more real, which of course it is, and therefore more touching. Beautiful write, RIP to Amanat

  • 10 years ago

    by Larry Malbrue Jr

    This touches my heart

  • 9 years ago

    by uttAm

    Hats off to you, the way you have put the incident in your words and turned it to a powerful piece....this is one of those my fav. Poem in this site, great write:)