Comments : Father

  • 9 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    It is very hard to lose someone close to you and especially someone like a Grandfather, I never got the chance to meet mine as he had passed before I was born...but I know how hard it is to lose someone older and wiser before they've fully had a chance to pass over there knowledge.

    You opened this piece so strongly, already telling us your reason for this write...so powerful did it continue.

    You swore you'd shield me from the storm
    and push me through the violent gusts
    until I learned to sail my ship,
    but you left before I could,
    so I've set my anchor and dropped the sails
    and salvaged what's been left.

    ^^That stanza just broke me...it was so beautiful, and deep and so creative too. I love the use of the sea here and how he steered you so many times into the right direction.

    Really awesome write here.
    x

  • 9 years ago

    by Guy Epsilon

    "Now hold on, let me memorize your face"

    Beautifully evocative, tears to my eyes. Isn't it strange how pain can bring forth such beauty?

    Great work, through loss we learn, through learning we live.

  • 9 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    @.@!!!

    To loose a parent/grandparent is so sad...(I'm thinking "Triangle" maybe a symbol for three generations?)
    Your teacher through life, best friend through thick or thin and loving arms are unconditional.

    " You swore you'd shield me from the storm
    and push me through the violent gusts
    until I learned to sail my ship,
    but you left before I could,
    so I've set my anchor and dropped the sails
    and salvaged what's been left."

    ^^favourite stanza...

    Strong opening lines, as if you've just had a rant to the sky and collapsed as you fall apart full of emotions... trying to remember everything about this important person in your life.

    Very sad piece <3
    Also a very well penned piece :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    [Weekly Contest Comment: 2/18/13]

    The emotional ties in this piece I felt were indescribably moving. The relationship between a father and child is something I know can be complex, because if he walks out of our lives or if death takes him, it seems our life does not have foundation anymore. I loved the sincerity in how the poet wrote directly to her father. Beautiful, true words that had me nodding in the end, praying that this distance is not what will endure. I was especially touched with the author talking about the strength her father taught her, "until I learned to sail my ship", beautiful imagery. Really provoking references to time also, that he gave all he could to you but it wasn't all he promised because there had to be a real end. All you now want is to remember him and never be in dangering of losing sight of him or forgetting his lessons... A very nostalgic piece, enjoyed this immensely.

  • 9 years ago

    by Angie

    (Weekly Contest Comment - 2/18/13)

    This is heartbreakingly beautiful and had me crying, the loss of any person is sad, but a father is a girls first hero, she looks up to him, he can do no wrong and he is there to guide her and protect her, its so hard to move on when he is gone and all we have left are our memories, but we try to be strong just like he taught us to be. The opening lines of this are so powerful and continues throughout, it speaks volumes about the love she has for him and the lessons learned and how much she misses him. Very well penned (4)

  • 8 years ago

    by Lost Soul 691

    Tears welled up while I read this. My father has been on borrowed time for awhile now and I count my blessings every day. I try to think ahead of when he will be gone ... but I can't, that hurts too much.

    So we chat a lot and about things that we never would have before the news. So the lines "You didn't teach me all you promised,
    but you taught me what you knew... " hit a chord.

    Beautifully penned. An emotion well captured.

  • 8 years ago

    by Sincuna

    This is the type of poem that I wish would never end, just as how the speaker hoped for her father to stay a little longer.

    This is masterfully crafted and would belong to my favorites list that can only be counted by one hand.

    First of all, I adore personal poems that brings the author to express, and confess, one's virus of emotions morbidly dying in one's chest. I can only imagine how hard it was to write this. I've tried for both parents but none as poetically done as this one. The speaker told an intimate bonding that was shared with her father, the shielding from the violent lessons of life, the catastrophes experienced not only from people , but from life's expedition as a whole. And this was done in the image of a jouney in the sea, and the metaphor works perfectly. - how there are struggles, competition against innocence without forced violence such as nature, the teaching and learning, the anchor for stoppage... I can't think of a better metaphor than this. A hike to the peak of a mountain falls short. This one is more isolated. The sea brings so much companionship (if with someone) and loneliness (if alone). And the poem found it's arrival, the conclusion, the island. Only the footsteps landed belongs to one person...

    This is wonderfully crafted and I can't see a dent nor a blemish anywhere even if I tried.

    The ending gives off the right attitude and emotion: and the sand has warmed my toes.
    ^ not only is it good imagery, as I could very well imagine the feeling of this. But the arrival and shift of mood and experience brings the poem to a halt. As if we've reach the last page of a book. The speaker will now begin to move on. For now, no more sad thoughts, I've arrived in the island and what I am thinking about is the sting of the sun reflected in sand.

    I'm melodramatic though, I'd like to have, if I were the speaker, the father longer. And I would push it further, even asking him to stay until the sand has numb has numbed my toes. As if I'd tolerate the pain of the heat just as long as I could memorize my father's face. But that's me, and that's too over the top. And the open ending would mean that the speaker may not have moved on. So I liked what you did.

    So much to say but I'll leave right here. Again. Masterful.

  • 6 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This really is a very moving and powerful poem - again, beautifully written. A lovely flow to the piece and I love the final two lines.