Sad song

I can't always be found
if I'm always lost;
If I always try to take control and claim that I'm boss.
if I always cry and no one's there, I should learn its ok and one day it will be clear.
I can't always be found. U can't always hear my sound
My sorrow. My begging. My lying then accepting that you will be forgiving.
It's not always that way. That's not always how it should seem.
I should take some responsibility. I should put some mind to this being.

Today I'm 21.
I blow out these beautiful invisible candles,
Hope to stay hopeful. Pray to keep saying prayers.
Love. Even though I don't feel love.
Not many days I feel a hug.
I tug n tug on your shirt but you never look down and ask about my frown
it's ok. I'm 21. Not too young. Not too dumb. To know what's goin on.

I can't always be found. I can't always count on you. I can't come to you.
The one time I do,
You couldn't, you wouldn't be there for me. When I really needed someone to be there for me
I needed somebody. I needed you so bad.
And it made me so mad...At first..., then I stopped and realized you don't want to find me.

So the calendar flips. My tears continually drip. the confetti scatters and the ball drops.
For a spilt second my heart stops. My mouth smiles. Life feels innocent.
Like a new beginning. Just confidence. No sinning. Stay strong. Stay bold. Not cold.
You're a soul survivor. A strong willed fighter. Just remember. You won't be found.
You won't be helped. Do it yourself. You've got nobody else!