Comments : 32-48-22

  • 11 years ago

    by xXx Eternal PainxXx

    Wanted to sail away on my notebook
    pages; away from his cowboy boots
    that were never clean, away from
    how happy he looked with her.
    ^^^^^
    that part i KNOW everyone has at one point or another...and i'm simply IN LOVE WITH THIS POEM!!! the imagery the way the flow was captivating to the simple fact that it DREW the emotions and EVOKED memories of our pasts i gotta say this is by FAR the best poem i've EVER read!!!! :) 5/5

    Queen Ashlin

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Wow Dawn, I am speechless with this new poem. I feel like I haven't read your poetry in so long and I apologize for that!!! I'm really at loss as to how to respond, there were many lines that stuck out for me. I liked how you talked about change in the way your locker number is not the same, either a year has passed in high school I'm assuming? Different hallways, different grade than you were before. This line caught me "Been moving so fast I'm not even sure that I'm me". I love how you write your thoughts, how you are processing things, and not just explaining this and that to the reader. You put out what needs to be said. This poem read very personal to me and was like a calling of your own memories through this line: "Though I'm not jealous, I'll always find that amber beautiful." That ending with the photograph too was so darn emotional too like looking back is not even worth it anymore....his photograph can't evoke that love anymore nor can it help you heal. Really captivating poem that has so much in it, I can't break it down anymore, just that whole sense of wanting to get away from this man you had cared about is gut-wrenching. I hope as time goes by it does get easier.... Take care :]

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Oh my my my. What can I say that MA hasn't already?!

    "I had
    wanted to sail away on my notebook
    pages; "

    I LOVE this. Oh my, how I love this..it creates a picture for me of a woman sailing into the sunset with nothing but her writing..because that's all she really needs to be fine.

    You write in such a unique and beautiful way that makes every part of your poem really stand out to me as your reader.

    I'm a huge fan of the imagery you portrayed throughout this, and your flow..well, flawless!

    I came originally intending to critique but...I can't find a single thing that I don't like about this! Your vocabulary, your imagery, your flow, your content..it all just melds so beautifully together creating one heck of a poem and I am in awe.

    As a sidenote, is the last line/title referring to a new locker number, or did I just completely miss the point here?

    Nominating.

    Absolutely breathtaking!

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    [Weekly Contest Comment: 3/17/13]

    The introductory lines automatically caught me....it makes me think this man is almost glorified I guess, or highly esteemed by this woman, and though may not have completely perfect skills as a human, he has a almost recognizable beauty that could be called perfection. I can't imagine watching a man you admire or maybe even loved with someone else- content. The pain the poet etches in their lines takes my breath away. Also, the understanding in this poem takes me into this author's mind, how she is probably sure she doesn't regret moving on and not looking back, but that her past is still something so empty. Will she be able to grow from it? The I absolutely adored how the poet tied in time changing and passing on so quickly with the locker combination, like life itself has been moving too fast to give one the proper chance to catch up, take a deep breath, and be who they truly are. A flawless flow and the emotion interwoven in each line is so strong here, I like how the poet separated a few lines and let herself be honest with herself and the viewers.... the poet has a voice that does not just sit there but talks to the reader as if we never knew what was going on but now enter into the glimpse of what she's feeling. Captivating piece!