Comments : I Will Possess Your Heart

  • 11 years ago

    by Saerelune

    You're one of the few poets on this site of whom I enjoy rhyming poetry, I truly think it suits you best because you always seem to rhyme so effortlessly while keeping the flow steady (almost melodious) and still adding bits of uniqueness (I often find rhyming poems to be lacking originiality). Plus you often seem to mix these antiquated words with interesting, new words (stoic, solemn, legend ...), but very carefully, never over-the-top.

    Funny thing about your rhyme though, it's moreso a "half"-rhyme and your rhyming scheme isn't consistent, yet it didn't even bother me, it still read beautifully. I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't intentionally take a look at your rhyme.

    I thought the repetition worked well here, truly gives the sense of reminiscence, it's as if you're pulling the reader to sail along with your memories. This love you're describing reminds me very much of the kind of love that slowly grows into existence, like childhood friends that slowly fall in love with each other. Maybe it's the innocence and shelter which seems to be emphasized so much in this piece, I feel a warm sense of safety when I read about this love story. Well done.

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I second that- Landy, you write beautiful rhymed poetry! I honestly don't go into the love section that often and read, maybe every few weeks or so but what I admire most about this piece is that yes it flows flawlessly, but it's not cliche. I liked the repetition of remember, and throughout this piece there is definitely the sense of shelter for one another. Lovely! :]

  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I saw this poem in two ways, one being obviously the innocence of love and how in the beginning we are all too shy to really express our emotions, afraid of being hurt. We distance ourselves, hoping the other person comes forth with their feelings first. Or second being a love where the two are torn apart. One plays victim and makes the other chase them around, while playing them like a game. Giving them the cold shoulder, hence your usage of stoic embrace. How they seem so distant yet so close at times. The feeling as though you'll 'possess their heart' because you love them. Sometimes these types of games can become all too addicting &they make you love them more than they love you. Very thought provoking, I love when poems can be interpreted however you wish. Your title reminds me of a poem I once wrote titled I'll Swallow Your Heart, or something similar to that. It's one of my favorites to this day, not my strongest but reminds me of this poem. Lovely job! :)