Comments : Love Me Within (Shadorma)

  • 6 years ago

    by Hellon

    This is such a beautiful little piece of poetry. Although short (as the form restricts) you have managed to paint a lovely melancholy image for the reader here.

    To me it says...there was the possibility of romance here but the other party held back for some reason and...you moved on...telling them not to regret their choice further down the track because you were willing to walk this path with them now but maybe not in the future....loved it.

    * On a side note (and nothing to do with your poem) from what I've read in the past the Shadorma may not actually be from Spain although many claim it did, for there are no older books that mention this form in spanish...just thought I'd thow that in for you to look into haha!!!

    • 6 years ago

      by Meme

      You know I always love your comments Hellon ... :)

      Thank you very much. And I shall Google more and see if I can find anything else.

  • 6 years ago

    by Yatubeera Resty

    Never have i read awrite so breath taking as this.. Iam in love with the lines,
    "Hold me as a beutiful thought

  • 6 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    I'm very very happy to see Hellon nominate this, because it deserves to be highlighted.

    Meme you truly took this form and made it your own.. I love the elegance within...

    Oh mercy the entire piece is breathtaking!

    • 6 years ago

      by Meme

      Again, thanks to you for introducing this new forms to us :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Rusheena

    Beautiful! I like that we only get a snippet of what's going on, especially since the romance sounds complicated. It's like the two lovers are the only ones, who truly know why their relationship got the way that it did, and the only we can do is sit back and watch. Nice piece!

  • 6 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Nomination.

    This is stunning....The beauty that can come from this form is incredible...

    LOVE the title...I am a huge title fan, and what I loved most about your title was that it gave a definition to what you were saying in the piece.....love me within, meaning just keep you a thought, dont do anything to prove your love (physically)...almost a way of saying move on as well.

    Very beautiful!

  • 6 years ago

    by CathyButterflyJC

    This is a wonderful poem, I fell in love with it, great job, 100/100

    • 6 years ago

      by Meme

      Your comments mean a lot to me guys just like this piece is. Its a very personal one and it touches me so deep...

  • 6 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    This was beautiful Meme, and you took the form and completely covered it in gorgeousness and top quality penmanship.

    The title was quite intriguing too, and I loved that touch to it, you really captured me in such few lines, always a sign that something is beautiful and amazingly written :)
    xx