Comments : Verona

  • 9 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I really like this Jenni. I enjoyed reading it.

    Some memories are bitter-sweet, there is never a perfect memory, we always change things to fit with our hopes and wishes and sometimes they aren't as good as we remember them

    I love your style of late, it is really unique, I am enjoying the word play and tone in this piece, the flawless flow is amazing...you are such an exquisite writer...so effortless

    Beautiful...and really thought provoking too

    P.S: I love Italy, great title...would love to go there one day...such a lovely country.
    xx

  • 9 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    You don't post often, but when you do.. I always know it's something I'm going to love from title to ending.

    The title fits perfectly, it sets the place of where this little coffee shop is, it gives the reader more imagery just by one word. Because coffee shops look differently in each country, really... you can say a coffee shop and everyone has their own image of what they see... but this narrows it down a lot... I love it.

    I: You feel content inside coffee shops, you feel home... fit in easily and kind of camouflage yourself within.

    I love the use of maudlin, it means self-pity and something sentimental, I believe. It incorporates sadness throughout this... maybe loneliness from missing someone.

    II: When in little cafes and restaurants, it's almost impossible not to overhear conversations. I feel like I'm eavesdropping in a way, but it's somewhat calming to hear about others lives.

    But that line, with dust settling around you... it definitely shows loneliness... like you were waiting for someone to show, but they never came. Really tugged at my heart there.

    III: The person you were finally waiting for arrived. I love how you incorporated that his aroma was what you remembered... it really incorporates wonderful with the coffee metaphor throughout!

    You wouldn't really have recognized him again if you didn't have a past. If nothing happened, just casual acquaintances and you saw him again, it would have been harder for you to remember... but since you have history, it was hard to forget him.

    "Inhaling deeply as you savored the first sip, to then lick above your lips."

    ^ I'm in love with this line! It's something you see so often in life, of people taking a sip of a drink and then licking their lips afterwards...but you never see it in poetry, or at least I haven't. There is something sensual about that line, like he's inviting you in. lovelovelove.

    Casual dates, but it seems nothing happened afterwards... drifted apart, which sometimes happens after a couple of dates if a mutual spark isn't happening. You obviously felt something but maybe he didn't return it. Or he comes in and out of your life... dating, intimate relations and then leaves for a while and then returns unexpectedly... all leaving you lonely and hurt once more... but there's something about him, you just can't say no.

    The last line just completes this whole piece. Nothing left to say but perfect.

    Nominated! Hope you win! <3

  • 9 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I read this the other day and it really stood out to me as something truly beautiful. I adore the imagery in the first part, the coziness of cafes and such, very intimate feeling. I love how also the little alleyways between buildings and how narrow they are. Makes one feel so dreamy!

    The dust settling around you was a very powerful line, I was quite in awe to read it. It speaks of your loneliness perfectly. You wish there was someone there to keep you company too.

    I loved the word befell, I really don't hear that often either. I also found it interesting that you used the word queerness to describe the oddity of the situation, I can see you sticking out among all these other lively bunches of people who are enjoying each others company, and then there you are all alone in silence.

    I loved how you brought the coffee metaphor around in the end again, you introduced it at first and then saying your memories of them were coffee-stained is just absolutely perfect. Perhaps they are hazy yet still very clear in your mind and this is one you wish to relive once again.

    What a gorgeous piece! How I wonder how you came up with something this lovely. A deserving nomination for sure!

  • 9 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    Jenni , I really loved this even tho it was Italy it also had a very Paris feeling to it cafes in France and Italy have loads of stories and hold a lot of memories.

    You wrote this wish such elegance , it was
    A really enjoyable read you described the surroundings
    So vividly , they we realised the speaker missed
    Fond memories from this little place. Awesome Jenni

    Added to my favs

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    [Judging comment from week of 5/20/13]:

    This is such a confident memory when you open up the poem with those lines "Sometimes I adopt the coziness of cafes", it makes me think you can assimilate into any environment, and make it your own. I love how you section this poem off with Roman Numerals, and how you write in longer, but still quite eloquent lines. In the second stanza, I like how you show the passing of time and what you overhear. I know whenever I go out to eat, whether a diner, a busy restaurant, or even a Panera, there's always the chance you can listen in on a conversation if they are close enough. Sometimes it makes me smile because it is such casual tones and it's always good to see people talking things through, not hearing people yell or scream.

    Your word choice is so articulate! I love how carefully your thoughts run in each line, especially, "You were pale compared to your cup, yet it was your aroma I remembered" - such a powerful line that invokes companionship and maybe a bit more. I think to really notice a person's scent and label it as being theirs shows you look past the surface of the skin, almost into the presence of this person.

    I loved how you went ahead and wrote about the intimacy, because I feel many can relate in savoring the special coffee they order, and making it last.

    You are very direct in second to last lines.... almost like a plead your heart has been hiding but now you are making known very quietly and simply. That little movement of tilting the head and creating a breeze is peaceful, and also bittersweet. That last line expressed the heartache, that maybe each time you are in a cafe, you are reminded of him, maybe you are always looking or searching for his aroma. But nothing ever matches up.

    Beautifully written!

  • 9 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judge Comment:

    Jenni got me from start to finish with this poem. Really admire the format.. numerically starting out the stanzas add a fun invitation to read.. The metaphoric scene takes me to a coffee shop, feeling her emotions and feelings.. Oh this was a delight to read!!

    Love the comparison to pale skin and coffee cups.. the detailed imagery is very noticeable from start to end..

    I felt the need to highlight this poem for many reasons and I'm sure all readers will agree this was a delightful piece to read! Well done Jenni-

  • 8 years ago

    by Doug Roossien

    Wow...talk about setting the scene...like a play...and very well done at that