Comments : When Winter Stays

  • 7 years ago

    by Mohan

    Really wonderful written and first time I am reading some new words here.

  • 7 years ago

    by Darren

    You capture this sense very well with a cleverly written piece.

    I love the pause after the first stanza, then we a guided through the rest with a nice pace and fantastic imagery.

    Keeping the stanzas short and concise works really well.

    nicely written

  • 7 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Comment from Round 2 of FOP contest:

    I agree with you in your author's note about the comfort of this piano piece, and I admire the angle you took of not writing and letting loose your emotions but portraying the numbness of the pain or loss. I was completely absorbed in this poem and felt you have immense skill and craft in keeping that emotional tones in between the lines- it gives the poem a more powerful, taunting touch of nostalgia and regret. That line of "after everything happened" leaves me wondering how bad this loss was. This is beyond poetic but truly reaches into the soul and grabs a part of me. We all have lost someone we love and I think in those times we want our sorrow to be something else possibly... not our own, not so natural and human. I love how you make this line almost other-worldly and celestial, to have it be bright: "I wanted so badly for my despair to be that beautiful." I adore how you keep that one thought, almost like a hopeless wish you still have on your mind because you need to focus on something, anything at all. In the next stanza I feel solitude and how you may be akin to those far away stars, drawing in a similarity to them. The piece does get quieter as you mention there is no more singing, yet how your body still dances on the mountain. It's a desire maybe to have that one hope to keep you strong. Love the whole theme of stars here and how personal and pain-painstakingly you write about it! Very eloquent and heart-rending.

  • 6 years ago

    by Britt

    Judging comment:

    I listened to the tune the prompt was based on and thought this poem paired with it went very well together. The beauty of the nature was very well portrayed, and the Queen painted pictures that I thought went along with the music in a really constructive and beautiful way. I absolutely adore everything about this poems structure -- it's very obvious of the author, it being her style, and it's a catchy one. Each word is crafted with intent, each line break a purpose. The imagery and strength in it is what really made this poem a favorite of mine. Also love some of the words crafted that you wouldn't typically see used in a nature poem (yodeling?). The ending is my favorite, breaking down in almost a softer tone that really speaks volumes. Simply just a pretty, pretty write.

  • 6 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    ""winter dances-"
    Can I just state how much I adore this? This is pure beauty. I've never thought of it this way before, but with this short line I immediately get this serene peaceful image of falling snowflakes, and I can't help but smile at the serenity this creates within me.
    I was surprised then, by the direction this poem soon began to take. I thought painting the leaves as weeping was elegantly done, both bittersweet and heart wrenching and manages to effortlessly turn the tone of the poem from so calm and beautiful in the opening verse into melancholy and perhaps loss?
    This is truly a remarkable poem and one that I have no doubt will stay with me for a long time. Such beauty and pain combined into one beautiful read."