Exhausted. Questioning my sanity.

Cheerful faces sing melodies of happiness around me

Sat in a corner, I am given wine.

Wine that looks like crimson blood.

With every sip, I feel the bitterness swell within me

How I long to be part of this happy gathering

But Alas! I feel nothing but misery and dread.

My armour now weak and my weapons now lost

Who am I? I question. Where do I belong?

I close my eyes and imagine

Leaving the crowded room and running away into the wilderness

Running like a wild animal that has been caged for years...

I'm brought back to the room within seconds by roaring laughter

I want to run away. Be free from these chains of sorrow.

In the early hours of morning

When there is not a soul in sight

Sat in the corner of your room

I see you breathing next to her

Both of you sleeping peacefully

And again I am consumed with overwhelming feelings of hatred.

I want to run far away - from him. from them.

But I am just a helpless puppet

And you are the master of my strings.

I surrender. I am defeated.

You wake up

and I fake a smile and pretend.

It is this pretence that destroys every bit of

warm emotion I have.