You address a lot of inner turmoil in this piece, and what I think is a lot of stress between your mind, heart, and body.... there are definitely pressures in life that may have us feeling trapped, but there is always a better way out that can be found other than bodily harm. Sorry for what you're going through, and as I don't know your situation, I just want to encourage you to keep your head up. I really liked how you took a twist at the ending when expressing that you came to the realization hurting yourself would do no good, and knowing that truth that you are loved.

Keep writing & take care.