The person I had written the original poem about, asked for me to express myself more.. To elaborate on what I mean because it was too vague.. And that it is better i express myself than to keep everything inside. I will never know why he asked.. It's unrequited love.. But I did it..
I've had a dream of happiness
Feelings of complete bliss
With confusion, I awakened
To find myself in this abyss
This confusion of how you really feel
Confusion of not knowing
An abyss of constant questions
While my dreams are still ongoing
Love has brought on chaos
Torture; my imagination
It's torment and struggle everyday
With no reciprocation
My imagination runs wild
You can't look into their eyes
But you look into mine
Unless my mind is full of lies
You smile this special smile
Full of pain, and mystery
Do you mean those smiles at me
With Those lips full of beauty
How I wish they can be mine
Those lips that speak such words
I wish they'd press against my own
How I long for that transfer
Through this battle, this fight
I beg for mercy & protection
I seek victory & triumph
Succeed through the rejection
I wish I could stop loving you
Just to erase this pain
But I don't regret this love for you
now I know what my heart can contain
I want my heart cold and black
To prevent this pain
But to add to my suffering
I even feel ashamed
I feel ashamed not cause of my love
But cause of the situation I'm in
I can't let go of him
Cause I'm afraid of losing u as my friend
And even if I don't lose you
I'd be completely fallen for you
So it'd be even more fatal
To know I can't have you but I do
I try avoiding thoughts of you
Although its inconceivable
It's agony, anguish, distress
To make this reality achievable
I try to avoid calling you
Want to stop seeing you
But all in the same
Can't keep myself away from you
But my dream, desires, fantasies
Paint your pictures of perfection
The beautiful vision I perceive
Is a reflection of our connection
You have such an eye for art
I wonder what you think of me
Will I ever be considered one of your pictures
Or just a fruit of a poisonous tree
I've entered the gates of hell
"Abandon hope all ye who enter here"
I'm hopeless yet I'm hopefull
So my mind is full of fear
I'm here because I care
In hell because I love
It seems ironic, yes
A destruction, undreamed of
You will forever be out of reach
I, forever behind this fence
Because we are unrealistic
Until I nod off and dream again..
A love we read about in books
Our bond would be so strong
The strength, with force, intensity
The real love, I've wanted for so long
You will be the single dream I have
You are my world in every way
You give me hope in life
I'll never be able to express all i want to say
I will Dream of laying next to you
With all obstacles surpassed
In nature, with such peace
With a love that will forever last.
