Comments : God is indeed around...

  • 9 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    This is simply beautiful, Amreen!

    I LOVE the use of 'virgin sunrise'.

    The birds go out each day and search for food, their journey isn't always the same... they may have to travel farther, but their creator makes sure they find what they need to survive. He provides and takes care of them.

    The next stanza is talking about doubt, I believe. That people around the world hold onto dreams and get disappointed and blame Him when their dreams don't come true.

    I've always heard that when God doesn't grant your dreams, that means He has better ones in store. So I thought of this when I read this poem.

    You done great in the challenge, I'm glad that you picked an african song instead of something well-known! Love this! <3

    • 9 years ago

      by Amreen

      Thank you Hannah. Yes I did wanted to convey that message of God between these lines.

      And it was an Indian Song:)


  • 9 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    My bad, I had read the word African somewhere before I had commented and got confused! Lol... still lovely. <3

  • 9 years ago

    by Lostlove1

    This is a beautiful poem Amreen :) I like God poems.

    The only thing that stood out in a bad way was the use of "yet" twice in this piece. It was just a minor distraction but I think it would be better to ax the first " yet" I would use the word "still" there.

    It is still awesome...


  • 9 years ago

    by TSI25

    I feel the need to say that im agnostic-atheist, and my read through of this poem was tainted with the kind of contrite thought that, when you mentioned those blessed with seeing the new dawn, i simply thought of those who died before morning light could reach them.

    in a way this macabre reading gave a kind of depth im not sure you were going for, this whole idea that life is a gift, and every new day is something to be utalized because we never really know when we are going to have another one... of course this thought has absolutely nothing to do with god as opposed to simply the mortality of mankind - an interpretation i rejected as being something you may have meant until the very end when you mention "faded belief"

    clearly this is a poem that, fundamentally and to its core, acknowledges the existence of god and is meant to instill a sense of friendliness toward the divine - however its phrased in such a way that even people who reject god can pull godless value out of it. well done.

  • 9 years ago

    by Love Fallacy

    I very interesting poem. I loved your whole first line" An illuminating sun basks in the glory of a virgin sunrise". Such a powerful way to start the poem and get me interested right away.

    Great job

  • 9 years ago

    by Chelsey

    This is so beautiful....what an awakening really...with the bird analogy. How true...they can get so hungry looking for food yet they are trusting their maker to provide. And we have all we need yet still doubt God at times...

    Beautiful darling. Well done.

  • 9 years ago

    by Black pearl

    When I started reading the poem, the very first line I read and I got the feeling of reading something I never read before, but all the other lines I read they are just too ordinary.
    I mean you should look at the 1st line of your poem by yourself and ,I am sure, you will find the difference.
    What a perfect start you gave, i mean look at the first line of your poem..'An illuminating sun basks in the glory of a virgin sunrise' and after that you forgot to illuminate your poem with such golden lines.
    The 2nd stanza look better as it is the part of the poem where you emphasized what this poem is all about( that all the other living creature trust him except us).
    My friend, you may find my comment a bit harsh because I don't believe in favors.
    Thanks for sharing.

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Each day is a gift from God and that is what I got from this. Every creature and living thing has a purpose just like us and we have to have faith..nicely penned.

  • 9 years ago

    by Burning Angel

    This poem is not exactly what i enjoy reading about. But something pulled me in and told me to read it. and I absolutely loved it. I like how you incorporated god into the poem and then a bird. It kind of spoke to me more than most poems can xD

  • 9 years ago

    by LittleMermaid

    As read the poem,i end up feeling so very good..u have decribed so beautifully friend!
    i must say u was missing your poems all these times..
    keep writing dear Amreen..u r really talented!!

  • 9 years ago

    by Ingrid

    If only we could trust with the heart of the animals of this world.

    Well written, Amreen, and a message that rings very true:)

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 8 years ago

    by DarkLight

    Wow. that's a powerful one. good work

  • 8 years ago

    by Marvellous

    It's always been a wonder, reading through your poetic lines of enigma. As usual, here comes another beautifully devoted piece I'm proud to critique. Keep the light, bright!