Just like before

Smack.

That's the last thing I heard before I left,
and ran out the door;
my cheek already swelling and
blood streaming from a cut on my side.

I run and run, not sure where I'm going,
until I round the corner and stop; breathless;
I'm on your street, and I think to myself
"How did I get here?"

The memories come unbidden,
a typhoon of emotional scenes filled
with blood and pain.
Please just please make it stop.

I try to turn the other way,
but my heart is pulling me to your door
and that's when I realize the dizziness
and just how much blood has been lost.

I knock hesitantly, barely standing up.
Thump, thump, thump I hear you
coming down the stairs as my vision
starts to go black when you open up the door.

You stare at my blackened eye,
and all that I can say is
"Hi, I'm so sorry...."
Before I drop and have the blackness settle in.

----------------------------------------------------

I wake up, days later laying
in that cold hospital bed
and I look over, seeing you sit there
quietly sleeping, and my body tenses.

The last time I saw you,
you beat me black and blue
I don't know why you're here
sitting next to me, watching over me.

Finally you wake up,
and I can see nothing but concern
in your blue eyes and I don't
even understand why I left in the first place.

You ask me what had happened,
because I just showed up all battered
and bruised, and then fainted from pain
and fell right back into his arms.

I didn't know what to say to him
to make him believe what had happened
that night, or what brought me back
to his doorstep that held so many memories.

But there I was, falling back in love
with his curly blonde hair and deep blue eyes,
the way he rapped so smooth
and made me feel something other than pain.

Until it started again,
until I made him angry and
he hit me again, just like before.
Now its starting again.

I can't get out of it
and I don't know what to do
but all I know is that
I've never stopped loving him.