That kiss

That Kiss

I fell backwards
Seeing all in slow motion
You standing, you kissing her
So our love has run its course
This fact sinks in with a whisper
As you trail back to me
Not knowing I've seen
Your stuff is waiting on the
pavement when you get back
All neatly folded
I thought that was the end of
that
No awkward lies, no need for
parting words
Just the end.

I'll wipe you out of my memory
while I stare at the ceiling, as
midnight consumes
Glowing stars pointing me back
to the reality of the unfeeling
I never feel much anymore
I'm not human you would say
Truth is
Its easier this way

The iridescent sky leaks gold
And Angels slumber in an
eternal life of bliss
As everyday gets more difficult
with it
I plan things in my head
Amazing how much time you
took up
I twiddle my fingers, agitated
and restless
Life beckons within, then a
possibility of happiness
Surely I should take this

It was but one kiss, I know this
Shadows loom with it
This tiny slight of happiness
As the nights get darker
I remember how moonlight
would flicker
as a candle on your face

Little snippets start to rise
through the mud
Dirt that I burried on top of you
I thought that was the end
But little things keep getting
through

You hunted for the Santa Claus
film a week before Christmas
I didn't feel festive and fell
asleep through it
Waking up to Christmas
pudding and eggnog,
that warm cuddly festive feeling
came back to me
It resides somewhere still in me

In Paris we sprinted from a five
star restaurant bill
Wearing silk, breaking my heels
This night you captured my
heart
as we ran through Paris
barefoot in the rain

The hotel room in Venice had
rats in the cupboard
We didn't want to leave the bed
So we made picture's on the
ceiling with lamp light
Falling asleep to softly slapping
water,
that night I Knew it would only
ever be you
It's still you

You skinned a cable for the
copper,made me a bracelet
The arthritis in my wrist was
driving me crazy

You drew me a Christmas card
every year, even when you
turned thirty

You were useless at making me
coffee

We were so care free ,
look at what's happened to me

These little things keep
wounding me, but also make
me happy

If I could take back that kiss
It still would've ended as this
You needed more than I could
give
In my world it wasn't important
That you
Knew how I loved you
How I needed you
That every morning I thanked
God for you
You never knew
As I never told you
And now it's too late to