Still Dreaming

Since you left,
I've been spending my time
trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do
now that you've walked right out of my life.
Should I try to forget all that we did together
and said to each other?
Should I wait for you to come back to me
whenever you feel like there's no other way?
Should I just accept the fact
that all I'm ever going to be is an unloveable fool?

The only thing that I realized is that
even if I actually meet someone new,
even if he treats me better than you ever did,
even if he speaks all the words
which never came out of your mouth,
I will never be able to give all of me to him
because I will never forget you completely. Unfortunately, you are a part of me
that I can't get rid of.
And I hate myself for that, because I know,
that even when he makes love to me,
I will think of you
and I'll whisper your name in his ear.
I'll never be able to love him back
because I'll always be attached to you
and I'll always love you no matter what.

I feel like I still belong to you
even though you broke me
and don't even deserve the poems I write for you.
And all this useless talking
doesn't make me feel better,
no, it reminds me of you
and all the pain you caused me.

My friends insist that I'm stupid
for not letting the memory of you go,
but they don't understand,
they have never felt this way,
they can't feel what I feel and therefore,
they only judge you.
But I, apart from you abandoning me,
remember how you kissed me goodnight
right before I fell asleep in your arms
and I remember how you would run
your long fingers through my curly hair
and how I'd tickle you
until you promised you'd go shopping with me.
And I remember how you were the only man
I ever saw crying and how at that exact moment
I had felt like I was born to love only you
whether or not we were meant to be.

So, even though I know that our story is over
and that I'll never have the chance to experience
any of these things again,
I can't help but still hope, that some day,
one day, you will realize that no other girl,
as pretty and smart as she may be,
will ever give you the love I have to give.
And when that day comes, you will come back to me, asking me to give you a second chance
and I won't say anything.
I will just look right into your eyes
and kiss you slowly like there's no tomorrow.
Because maybe, deep down I know
that even if that day actually comes,
my fairytale ending will not last for as long as I wish...