Comments : Insecurities

  • 9 years ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    I liked this poem. Tells a story, a story that many go through in life. Well done Theresa!

    • 9 years ago

      by Theresa Ford

      Thank you so much for reading glad you enjoyed.

  • 9 years ago

    by Trinity Heart

    Short but good wished you'd have elaborated a tad longer

  • 9 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Hi Theresa! I meant to write a comment sooner. Thank you for participating in that contest.

    The site went down unexpectedly. It took everyone by surprised. I hope to see you back in PnQ soon.

    I remember you were telling me that you were interested in learning more about poetry. Well, there are different styles of writing, the most common one in this site is free style, however, it's always nice to see form poetry like the one you just did.

    Acrostics can be difficult to write at first, but with practice they become easier to handle. The one you did it's good. There are some lines that when I read them they sound a bit awkward to me.

    Form poetry just like Free style, it should sound as natural as possible. Though the words "sound as natural" could be subjective.

    For instance this line,

    "Sure in my mind that you've stepped out to play"

    It sounds awkward to me because it's missing the "I was/am .. sure"

    However, I think that was because of trying to follow the form as well as I think you were trying to rhyme the whole poem. So I can see that you felt restricted, but with more practice, it can become natural to write the acrostic with the rhymes.

    Overall, I like the emotion in this poem. I can feel the anger and the jealousy. I can also see the story that is taking place. Insecurities in a relationship and overall in our lives can fill us with different emotions and at times it can makes us exaggerate in what it's actually happening. The above it's just my opinion and anyone else may have a different one from me. However, I like your acrostic.

    continue writing.

  • 9 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Spooky poem. Nice rhymes. You should try a free verse poem. The freedom of movement will allow you to get creative without the restriction of abab rhyme.

  • 9 years ago

    by LittleMermaid

    Beautifully written :)

  • 9 years ago

    by LittleMermaid

    Beautifully written :)

  • 9 years ago

    by LittleMermaid

    Beautifully written :)