This is so extremely powerful, and I am so sad that this has gone unnoticed. This is a poem that makes me remember I must visit old work more often, so much talent gets buried.
Your skill for writing seems to be just as good here! Your descriptions for things is very vivid, but you have a smooth way with your wording, that does not stumble and I find no flaws on it. It is very narrative and story-like, and makes it a good poem to read where everything is in the right place.
The content is real sad, and I could relate to the emotions, the abandonment and feeling broken, alone, etc, but then in the end you are left with the feeling of numb. Very raw emotions and you have placed them well in this poem and created a story which most people here have been through.
Great job, and well done for your first poem on here :)
5 years ago
by Ben Pickard
I like the rhyme scheme in this - cleverly executed. Aside from that, a sad and powerful write.