Comments : Bewitching Bane (Haiku)

  • 6 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Always love and admire a poem that had me searching good old google!!

    Great wording, I don't ever recall seeing a haiku with only 6 words in it... But I think in this case you have made it work very well!

    Well done.

    • 6 years ago

      by Sylvia

      Thank you for the lovely comment and I hadn't noticed that it was only 6 words until your comment. I didn't plan it that way. I added definitions for two of the words bane and toxicant. (spell checkers don't recognize toxicant but it is a word).

      The Oleander is a "bush" shrub" "tree" that is very plentiful here in Phoenix, AZ and grows very fast so people use it a lot for landscaping although it is poisonous. Haven't seen anyone that every did get poisoned from it or any pets either.

  • 6 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Now there is something that I've learnt! I appreciate the information which made the reading of the Haiku even more meaningful and vivid...well penned!

  • 6 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Wow this is such a powerful haiku Sylvia.

    First line- I believe the title fits perfectly with the poem itself. This line holds such great wording and imagery. You can see clearly a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

    Second line- This is where the twist in the haiku comes in. The poison of the flower. This is where the title comes in mostly especially the bane part.

    Ending- This is what makes the haiku I feel, you have the time frame of the seasons and you did an excellent job with the wording here. Beautiful write overall, probably one of the better haiku's I've seen. 5/5

  • 6 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Double post sorry.

  • 6 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    I decided to grant this breathtaking Haiku as my 10 choice this week, it's hands down one of the prettiest and creative Haikus I have read in quite some time.

    Haiku's are small yes, but can be tricky to write, due to the syllable restriction but also, the wording has to be captivating, exciting and unique and Sylvia has done that and much more with this piece.

    I was mesmerized by the wording of this poem, and I am also drawn to poisonous flowers for some reason so I couldn't help but get sucked into this piece. The title ties in nicely with this piece as well.
    Truly beautiful piece this week by Sylvia!

  • 5 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This is wonderful. I always find haiku hard to write - they seem to end up more on the senryu side! Such a powerful piece in so few lines.
    All the very best