Comments : Waiting For You

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Nice little poem, lots of good similes used to show your meaning, however I do suggest that you change the word "sprinting" as you are talking about the time passing by slowly, and use the tortoise, so I suggest a more suitable word that would imply this, sprinting implies really fast and does not match that of a tortoise.

    • 9 years ago

      by cassie hughes

      I used the word sprinting on purpose in an attempt to portray a negative idea, in that tortoises do not sprint therefore time is also not sprinting away but maybe I ought to rethink the line. Thanks

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I love the end of this - so abrupt and powerful. More great writing from you, Cassie.