Comments : A Child's Hidden Agenda

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Very nice! I love how short you kept this, yet it's the fast tone like the reader is inside the chase that's going on.

    I loved your line:
    As footsteps splash fear into walls...

    That is just an awesome line that stands right out and will be remembered.

    Great descriptions, well done.

  • 9 years ago

    by alka mendiratta

    Very well written.

    The line
    His shirt soaked with adrenaline
    the gushing energy and want beautifully depicted.

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Judging Comment:

    A short narrative packed with action and emotions!
    It felt like I was running along with the child and
    the imagery just springs forth with pain and breath
    taking emotions.

    What makes this write even better are the eye
    catching lines for instance:

    Bushes quivering to barks,
    as footsteps splash fear into walls,

    His shirt soaked with adrenaline
    All for the sake of sprinting
    the long walk to freedom.
    Excellent piece of work here and wish I could give out more points!!