Comments : The Pianist

  • 5 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Judging comment:

    I keep going back and forth between the formatting of this piece, and while I feel like it could be separated into stanzas, it flows well when in a paragraph form. I see this pianist as delicate, loving, and yet the last line makes me view her as lonely. I like how you used "mortal" instead of "human", like what she plays and the music being her companion is a look into something everlasting, something eternal. I especially can relate to how you mentioned she forgets the past, and all the worries and burdens of the outside world. I can understand becoming lost in the moment, letting the heart speak and not letting other distractions or nonessential things take over. In the fourth line though, "she forgot who was", you forgot the pronoun after "who". Unless you meant it to read "she forgot who was"? Which makes me think she contemplated others around here as a whole, and is not focusing on something smaller, her own self. There are a few places I feel you can refine your usage of pronouns, such as saying "hands" instead of "her hands" since it is implied she is the only character in this piece. Calming and comforting piece though! (4)