What was i in?

Waiting
to forget you
wanting
to regret you
but somehow
i can't bring myself to.

wishing
away our memories
willing
to stay in misery
as long as thoughts of you
stay away from me

watching
time go by
waking
up to another cry
why can't i
get you off of my mind?

wasting
my time
wearing
down my
thoughts of you
but they come back every time

writing
down silly dreams
wiping
away the thoughts of you and me
I'm trying not to love you
but it isn't so easy

wondering
what could've been
whispering
what should've been
if it wasn't love
then what was i in?