Comments : The Fairy

  • 8 years ago

    by Masked metaphor

    Purple skies filled with glowing lights
    ^^
    I am familiar with this link to Hannahs poem, It too reminds me of the dinning hall in Harry potter. Your line however (the purple skies) reminds me of the song 'imaginary' by Evanescence -
    "in my field of paper flowers, and candy clouds of lullaby, I lie inside myself for hours
    And watch my purple sky fly over me" I love this imagery of purple skies it is truly beautiful Mori!

    Illuminated the path to God.
    ^^
    Maybe change Illuminated to illuminating
    I love this line - I can see a path leading to heaven or like a ladder of lights reaching up to the skies.

    He created the inspiration to all things
    Faye and whatnot.
    In the palms of His hands He
    Made something grow
    A beautiful fairy;
    ^^
    I like how you linked God as the creator here because in truth He is! I like how you have taken the reader on this journey to the heavens and with your words enlightened us to see this creation of a fairy emerge!

    She stood not even 5 feet tall
    Tiny ballerina frame,
    Graceful, her wings marred her back.
    Vibrant was her hello,
    Delicate and sweet was her tiny voice
    Uttering, "Hello Father what shall be my name?"
    He was so taken by her He blessed her
    With the name: "Mary Poppins",
    ^^
    First of all - great descriptions! You have sculptured your fairy here so delicately and explicitly that the reader can view this 3D model of a fairy in their minds as they continue to read. The words you have craftily selected links experiences to the reader and as every reader has been exposed to different experience they will all envision their own image of this fairy. I love how you incorporated Mary poppins here - you have melded it into your poem with such a natural flow and it fits in very well!

    She danced and sang
    Not to mention she was sent to small children
    To help them see the errors of being "naughty children"
    So, God was well pleased,
    ^^
    I love how you linked the Mary Poppins to the movie and story that we all known to God and the fairy - so effective and powerful.

    She wasn't the last of her kind that was for sure
    She had proven to God that her race could be caring
    And that the bad could become good.
    ^^
    Amazing effect of extending a story that there are more of her out there - outlining that there could be a sequel and that there is more out there that we were not aware of - that fairies could always be around us disguised as caring human beings

    That's the end, my darling,
    Go to bed sleep tight
    Don't let the bedbugs bite,
    Said a young mother as she kissed her daughter goodnight.
    ^^
    Mori this is so lovely!!
    You have ended it with a mother telling her child a bed time story!
    AMAZING - it ties in so gracefully here What a powerful ending!!

    5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Everything that MM has already said lol!

    Well done, I did wonder what you would come up with, and I really like the idea that you stuck with Mary Poppins being someone "perfect" and angelic, someone who was made to hep other people. You painted the description lovely with your metaphors too.

    I also like how you made this about a mother telling a bedtime story, this was really cute, and it made it a unique take on the prompts. It did have a very "child friendly" tone to it, and how it would send them to sleep to have such vivid dreams possibly.

    Well done on the challenge, and for only taking 40 minutes!

    Good job.

  • 8 years ago

    by Gone Forever

    This poem almost seems forced. There is no true rhythm to it, and there is no rhymes. I wish I could say that I enjoyed it but it was too pushed and rushed out. Take your time to review it, okay? Love you momma.

  • 8 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I enjoyed this poem even though I don't recall reading the a book about Mary Poppins or watching the movie it is a classic as this poem could one day be

  • 8 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    This is a very touching and precious poem, designed with creative imagery and fantasy detailed. The mixture of mystical and spiritual come to mind. Love the intertwined outlook.

    The phrase at the end is something my mother said to me often as a child and I always cringe... Bedbugs are horrible... "shivers"- She should've told me "don't look under your bed the creepy clowns gonna get ya" LOL

    I'm rambling but your poem sparked a thought in me :-)

    Lovely poem!!

  • 8 years ago

    by Polly

    This has made me smile :) x

  • 8 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I'm glad that my poem inspired the first line of yours! :) I believe that you done awesome with your challenge that Saffie gave you. I don't think I could have ever written with the topic of Mary Poppins unless I used it as a metaphor somehow. So, great job!

    You took the tale of Mary Poppins and intertwined both the mystical and spiritual qualities in this poem. You described how God created all things, including fairies and all other mystical creatures.

    God created this special fairy, naming her Mary Poppins. She was energetic and kind, always dancing and singing, just an overall happy fairy that put a smile on everyone else's faces, especially children. She was created just for children, to help teach them the ways of life, how to behave and how to enjoy life to the fullest.

    God was pleased with His creation, she had proved to Him that fairies could be a race that could thrive within this world. He decided that He must create more fairies, all around the world. - I like this thought that there are fairies disguised among the human race! Unique thought!

    I love the ending, that this was all a tale that a Mother told to her Daughter at bedtime! Very cute!

    This poem will remind a lot of people of their childhood with not only the Mary Poppins story, but take them back to that moment maybe when their own mother was reading them Mary Poppins or a similar tale at bed time. Great write!

  • 3 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    I liked this. Just the thought that this fictional character could inspire this lovely write. I could see this little dancing fairy on her mission. A world is a better place with fairies, don't you think...