I loved this entry Hannah, this was one of your short poems that holds so much in it.
I love the creativeness of the suitcase, and how you have combined this, and clothes, with the relationship you describe.
I also like the middle part of the poem where you list the time, as this emphasises on just how much time you have spent, and how long it feels.
You also inserted a lot of items that relate to the clothing, which was clever, such as the stains and the irons, and the unbuttoned clothing. I enjoyed this part of it, I admire your skill in being able to do this in your poetry.
Well done on the win for this challenge, great job.
5 years ago
I can only echo what Baby Rainbow has said, from what i've read you have such a great ability of saying so much with few words, it is part of your style i admire greatly.
Brilliantly creative write that met the challenge so very well.
The idea of the suitcase and all its contents was inspired and I love the way you manage to fit so much meaning into so few words.
Well done. :)
5 years ago
by Beautiful Soul
This is really good Hannah, pretty unique as I've never seen anyone incorporate laundry in a poem. I believe this is saying, you have had words deep inside of you but you could not get them out, because your mind was elsewhere. Your life is so busy those thoughts are packed up somewhere in a suitcase, ready to leave. I like this for it's creative metaphor and catchy words. You often make the reader think about your thought provoking thoughts, you say so much in so little. That's what gets me :). 5/5
I thought this was very clever... I loved it
It hits the heart so raw... Yet your words were so delicate....
Pieces like this can inspire people... A simple object
But worded right can bring out such a beautiful and well written piece...
You never disappoint such a talent amazing.
4 years ago
Hannah this is wonderful. Written so elegantly. You say so much without saying much at all because the emotion runs deep making it really powerful.
These words have been
stuck in the depths
and mosaic memories.
Love this opening. It's very relatable. Words being stuck anywhere is bad but for them to be stuck in the darkness and crumpled beneath laundry shows that they have been stuck in your mind for so long and need to come out.
Spending any length of time dwelling over past times or good/bad memories is no good because it gets us nowhere (and I know that from experience) especially when the dwelling has been done for some time. What helps (though hard) is to try moving on.
that inspired a
clothes line of
trying to iron
into an arrow
in your direction.
This is my fave stanza. The imagery here is perfectly written. I can imagine a Person badly unable to control the tears and wiping the away (or not) onto clothes possibly clothes of those of a person they once loved dearly and pegging out the clothes to dry so the tears don't stain then trying to iron out creases, of past memories but it makes it hard as everything points back to them. Beautiful but so sad.
folding what's left
of you into an